Now my third week in a row in Freetown. I have only been able to head back to Bo on the weekends and even last weekend I spent in the Gola Rain forest and Kenema so to say the least I am missing the kids something fierce and have a lot of work piling up at home. However as I have said this is also part of the job and in someways I am amazed each morning at the people I am meeting with for this job.
Yes JERRY'S ADOPTION IS FINAL. I do have the court order and I heard with my own ears the judge granting the adoption. However in this country and even our own that does not end all our problems and make the way forward smooth. One of Brenda's dear friends told her shortly after hearing the news of the adoption that we still need to be in prayer and watchful. Satan does not like to lose and in this situation we not only got the adoption we so wanted approved but our staff and children's faith has grown individually and even more so as a group together. The day after I received the court order- the attacks started coming.
I had been calling the Embassy and finally on the 6th call I was told to come to a meeting at 1pm Thurs. I arrived there early- waited, went through all the security and sign ins and finally made it into the main building- waited again. Finally when I was able to speak with someone they told me that the moratorium on adoptions still stands and though I have the court order it should all be worked with on the US side first. I did know this but in all the other 6 phone calls I was told to come to the Embassy to start what they can here. At least the drive along the hillside is pretty.
From there I headed to Social Welfare as the Visa investigation will start there and they needed to be aware of where we were at with this case. WOW- they were NOT happy at all. The Permanent Secretary raised his voice several times and essentially said that they would not tolerate the courts going ahead without them and that they would not recognize Jerry's adoption. This of course made our lawyer CF very hot and he said that the courts are the highest authority in the land so who are they to stop this case. Anyway after meeting with them both on Thursday I met with them both again at separate times on Friday. Mrs. Bangura is the Director or Children's Affairs at Social Welfare and knows me and remembers Jerry. She has been willing to work with me on this and I have had to be very diplomatic in what I say and how i react to keep our relationship and standing with SW intact but to also move Jerry's situation and the other adoptions we want forward. She asked me to come back and meet with her again on Tuesday of this week so after another long morning I was able to finally head back to the provinces.
Earlier in the week when I thought I would be back in Bo on Wednesday we had made plans with Talitha, Kate, Bret and JK to go to the Gola Rainforest for the weekend. Come Friday it wasn't really something I wanted to do anymore but knowing how much they all wanted it and said they would not go without me I tried to muster the energy to go. I had to just quickly stop in Bo to empty and refill my suitcase and get Kate and Talitha- I think it was torture on the kids and on me to just say hello and good bye. We arrived in Kenema around 8 or so and had to go searching for dinner and lunch for the following day. I barely dragged myself back to my bed on the floor in the office to crash.
We woke early in the morning to head out to the forest. I HAD NO IDEA what this trip would entail. I was told 30 miles from Kenema was the drive and we would see monkeys, birds, rain forest, butterflies... so in my mind i did think of Salone roads and thought maybe an hour and a half in the car- walk around for the day and even if we left there around 6 we would be home before 8pm. Well I was wrong- it was closer to 60 miles and 3 and 1/2 hours to get there and because of the dark over 4 hours to get home. We did not see any animals besides butterflies and maybe two birds. It was great to be in the forest- but the original hike they wanted to take us on was 14 miles- I was exhausted and not prepared. We did not do that full hike and we did end up at a river and Kate and I swam and it was beautiful and peaceful but... I almost had a breakdown in the car on the way back. My body and mind had had enough and I was especially done with bouncing all over the car on the terrible roads and my legs after two FULL days in the car were going crazy in that same position. Needless to say by the time we got back to Kenema around 10pm I was done. The next morning and day at church and hanging out was fine but I knew that I would be heading back to Freetown on Monday and was missing time at home. It was a good weekend looking back on it now and I did enjoy myself but I learned that I need to set better boundaries and I cannot do it all.
Monday found me traveling back to Freetown this time in Public transport as I could not imagine driving yet again and it is much cheaper. My meetings with both SW and Margai were scheduled for Tuesday so hopefully I would get back to Bo Tues. evening or Wed. morning at the latest- wait this is Salone remember. My meetings dragged out and had more than one and was finally able to come back Thurs. afternoon and that was because I said enough is enough and told Margai I could not meet again on Friday.
However the meetings did go well and you have to play the game here- be patient- keep going back- be firm and yet speak nicely- let them think they have the upper hand- ask questions I might already know the answer to- give enough information but hold some.... After it all- we have pretty much been given permission to go ahead with filing Jerry's I600 and starting the visa investigation. I have a good relationship still with SW and I have gotten emails from the President of the Bar association confirming that adoption cases are now able to be heard in court and there was even a request for the Chief Justice to inform all Embassies and High Commissions of the developments and that the courts are open so that foreign governments can know and move forward on those grounds. Yesterday our lawyer had a meeting with the Ambassador and was told that a long as we have a court order that is what they will go by in moving forward and will start the investigation as soon as they have the paper work.
So after three long weeks- I think we are in a good place. The adoption is final, we can file the paper work, the Embassy knows about our case and is willing to move forward, Social Welfare knows about our case and is willing to let us move forward- and there is a very good chance that all adoptions will be fully open and flowing in the near future.
Now I am ready for a rest. :) After this very full weekend ahead I might get it next weekend.
thanks for all the prayers and encouragement. It has kept me going. I have made some new good friends along the way as well.
Jerry is still excited and doing well. He is also thankful and blessed by all of your prayers and support.
Now back to the little things in life- I am off to buy a truck load of firewood and go to the kids sport day at school.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
One more busy week in Freetown
(this post was started well over a week ago- so I will just finish it and post as is and get to the next one)
Sure a trip to the city is nice every now and then- but only every now and then. I remember a time when it would be 3 months without me traveling to Freetown- Now I have been here a good majority of the last month. I spent only Friday-Sunday in Bo over the past two weeks and will still be here in Freetown until at least tomorrow. It is more than just part of the job this time however and it is very worth the noise, constant people, sitting in traffic and the unique smells.
As of my last post you know that our adoption case with Jerry was post poned until this past Wednesday. However what I did not share was that after our last court date our lawyer wrote a letter to the Chief Justice (head judge), the President of Sierra Leone, The president of the Bar Association, Minister of Social Welfare, Coordinator of Jonathan's Child Care Ministries (me- on such a list) and one or two other people stating that the almost 4 year ban on adoptions is not actually legal. (with my busy schedule I honestly do not remember what I have posted in the past nor do I have the time now to read through it so if this is old news just scroll ahead a bit). Here in Salone the adoption process includes going through Social Welfare who does an investigation into the child's situation and then either gives their approval or does n0t- without their approval you cannot go forward with the adoption. Makes sense. So a few years back the then Minister of Social Welfare Gender and Children's Affairs initiated the ban on adoption after a good number of fraudulent adoptions. At this point this should have gone through parilament and to the President and then be ratified in order to be a true ban on adoptions- however this was never done. Still the Chief Justice sent a circular to all judges stating that they should NOT hear adoption cases. At this time because of the adoption cases that were not proper the Bar Association remained quiet on the subject and waited to see what Social Welfare would do- however after this much time they are no longer willing to stay silent.
In order to shorten this a little that is what Mr. Margai was fighting after last Wednesday in his letter. I came to Freetown on Monday morning to go to the airport to meet our visitor, Talitha who will be staying with us for three weeks and Jerry came to Freetown Tuesday afternoon after a test at school. Just after he arrived I was called to Mr. Margai's office. His secretary and junior lawyer told me that after meetings all week the Chief Justice had sent out another circular to all judges stating that they shoulc BEGIN HEARING ADOPTION cases. We were all very excited and celebrated together. We all had a hand in this and even when I told Jerry he got a big smile on his face and did his short high pitched laugh. He was a part of opening the door for all other children. You know how many times God asks for our patience and how many times he rewards us with things much greater than we could have hoped for. This is a big deal. It has been a very long time and a long battle to have an adoption case heard and the next day we were getting out chance free and clear- not having to go around any previous order from the Cheif Justice.
Wednesday morning we met at Mr. Margai's office and he again congratulated us on that victory and we all thanked each other for the part played. It was great to see Jerry speaking to a man in such a position here in Sierra Leone and feeling like they had worked together to accomplish an act that would help many other children. Jerry is proud and was well spoken. These two men so far apart in age but from the same part of the country have something even more to connect them together. Each time we go to Bo Jerry proudly talks to his friends about Mr. Margai- puffs out his chest a little and tips his head back and tells all who will listen (and debate with him) how great this man is. So for Mr. Margai to congratulate and thank Jerry on Tuesday... it meant a great deal to him and I know he will carry that with him for a long time to come.
Shortly after we headed to the court house and met Mommy Benya (Jerry's grandmother), Boi Benya- (Jerry's biological mother) and Joe Benya (Jerry's uncle) already there. Joe told us how they prayed at church on Sunday- they prayed when Mommy and Boi arrived from the village Tuesday, and they prayed before leaving that morning. What an encouragement. They all felt strongly that this would be the day.
We waited in the corridor together until we were called into the Judge's Chambers. It was not a large court room but her office. We were in there with our lawyers- 3 of them, and 2 other lawyers along with Boi, Jerry and I. Mr. Margai presented our case and spoke for about 10-15 minutes or so and then the judge's legal assistant who spoke Mende asked Boi if she understood what was happening and if she agreed with it. She spoke very clearly and said that she has not been caring for jerry since he was 2 1/2 years old and is not able to care for him now. She wants him to have the chance to have a family with Mommy Brenda and Hindalo (Jerry's father's Mende name) and she wants it to be forever. She understands what this adoption means and she wants it to happen. Wow- what a special thing to say. After this the judge just continued to write on her piece of paper. The same exact type of paper that the denial for Jerry's adoption was written on last time. I remained calm and just prayed- this would be different.
We were told it could be a week or two before we received a decision. However the longer she sat there just writing I had a feeling we would be hearing her answer today. With all the doors that God had opened for us to get to this point, with all the hurdles we had jumped and with all the prayers that had gone up and the confident, peaceful feeling he had given so many of us I just had to believe that her decision would be favorable. But still I held my breath and prayed. After at least 15 minutes of just writing and silence (yes 15 sounds short but try waiting for something, watching someone, sitting in silence for a full 15 minutes- it is not short), Justice Showers spoke. She spoke directly to CF Margai and said that "In light of this application and the special circumstances of the juvenile, in light of the mother's condition, in light of... " so many things- now as soon as she started saying 'in light of' and laid out the conditions she did- I knew it had to be a yes but as always I had a slight smile and still held my breath- I mean after 4 years of not getting the answer we desired there was always a chance...
Finally she said the words we so wanted to hear "The application is granted" She then went on to read a few conditions and we could all smile and say thank you. Jerry stood up in front of her to say thanks and even Boi who doesn't understand English must have understood the side squeeze I gave her as the judge was talking as she said thank you as well. It was a quick rush out of the room so after my thanks on the way out that was the end of it all. We met back at Mr. Margai's office and he started preparing the official court order. He asked me to wait in Freetown until the next day to collect it so I quickly got Talitha, Jerry, and Kate ready to head back to Bo so Jerry could finish his school exams and Talitha could start work at the hospital and then I stayed in Freetown yet again.
How excited was I the next morning when I held the signed court order in my hands. It is finished- Jerry Benya Lowe's adoption is FINAL. While he and I were walking on the street I said that to him- "Jerry you are finally a Lowe"- he responded to me, "I have been a Lowe for a long time." He is so right. In their hearts- all of them- Jerry has been a part of the Lowe family for years- it is just that we have a piece of paper that can now start the process of bringing him home to his family.
Sure a trip to the city is nice every now and then- but only every now and then. I remember a time when it would be 3 months without me traveling to Freetown- Now I have been here a good majority of the last month. I spent only Friday-Sunday in Bo over the past two weeks and will still be here in Freetown until at least tomorrow. It is more than just part of the job this time however and it is very worth the noise, constant people, sitting in traffic and the unique smells.
As of my last post you know that our adoption case with Jerry was post poned until this past Wednesday. However what I did not share was that after our last court date our lawyer wrote a letter to the Chief Justice (head judge), the President of Sierra Leone, The president of the Bar Association, Minister of Social Welfare, Coordinator of Jonathan's Child Care Ministries (me- on such a list) and one or two other people stating that the almost 4 year ban on adoptions is not actually legal. (with my busy schedule I honestly do not remember what I have posted in the past nor do I have the time now to read through it so if this is old news just scroll ahead a bit). Here in Salone the adoption process includes going through Social Welfare who does an investigation into the child's situation and then either gives their approval or does n0t- without their approval you cannot go forward with the adoption. Makes sense. So a few years back the then Minister of Social Welfare Gender and Children's Affairs initiated the ban on adoption after a good number of fraudulent adoptions. At this point this should have gone through parilament and to the President and then be ratified in order to be a true ban on adoptions- however this was never done. Still the Chief Justice sent a circular to all judges stating that they should NOT hear adoption cases. At this time because of the adoption cases that were not proper the Bar Association remained quiet on the subject and waited to see what Social Welfare would do- however after this much time they are no longer willing to stay silent.
In order to shorten this a little that is what Mr. Margai was fighting after last Wednesday in his letter. I came to Freetown on Monday morning to go to the airport to meet our visitor, Talitha who will be staying with us for three weeks and Jerry came to Freetown Tuesday afternoon after a test at school. Just after he arrived I was called to Mr. Margai's office. His secretary and junior lawyer told me that after meetings all week the Chief Justice had sent out another circular to all judges stating that they shoulc BEGIN HEARING ADOPTION cases. We were all very excited and celebrated together. We all had a hand in this and even when I told Jerry he got a big smile on his face and did his short high pitched laugh. He was a part of opening the door for all other children. You know how many times God asks for our patience and how many times he rewards us with things much greater than we could have hoped for. This is a big deal. It has been a very long time and a long battle to have an adoption case heard and the next day we were getting out chance free and clear- not having to go around any previous order from the Cheif Justice.
Wednesday morning we met at Mr. Margai's office and he again congratulated us on that victory and we all thanked each other for the part played. It was great to see Jerry speaking to a man in such a position here in Sierra Leone and feeling like they had worked together to accomplish an act that would help many other children. Jerry is proud and was well spoken. These two men so far apart in age but from the same part of the country have something even more to connect them together. Each time we go to Bo Jerry proudly talks to his friends about Mr. Margai- puffs out his chest a little and tips his head back and tells all who will listen (and debate with him) how great this man is. So for Mr. Margai to congratulate and thank Jerry on Tuesday... it meant a great deal to him and I know he will carry that with him for a long time to come.
Shortly after we headed to the court house and met Mommy Benya (Jerry's grandmother), Boi Benya- (Jerry's biological mother) and Joe Benya (Jerry's uncle) already there. Joe told us how they prayed at church on Sunday- they prayed when Mommy and Boi arrived from the village Tuesday, and they prayed before leaving that morning. What an encouragement. They all felt strongly that this would be the day.
We waited in the corridor together until we were called into the Judge's Chambers. It was not a large court room but her office. We were in there with our lawyers- 3 of them, and 2 other lawyers along with Boi, Jerry and I. Mr. Margai presented our case and spoke for about 10-15 minutes or so and then the judge's legal assistant who spoke Mende asked Boi if she understood what was happening and if she agreed with it. She spoke very clearly and said that she has not been caring for jerry since he was 2 1/2 years old and is not able to care for him now. She wants him to have the chance to have a family with Mommy Brenda and Hindalo (Jerry's father's Mende name) and she wants it to be forever. She understands what this adoption means and she wants it to happen. Wow- what a special thing to say. After this the judge just continued to write on her piece of paper. The same exact type of paper that the denial for Jerry's adoption was written on last time. I remained calm and just prayed- this would be different.
We were told it could be a week or two before we received a decision. However the longer she sat there just writing I had a feeling we would be hearing her answer today. With all the doors that God had opened for us to get to this point, with all the hurdles we had jumped and with all the prayers that had gone up and the confident, peaceful feeling he had given so many of us I just had to believe that her decision would be favorable. But still I held my breath and prayed. After at least 15 minutes of just writing and silence (yes 15 sounds short but try waiting for something, watching someone, sitting in silence for a full 15 minutes- it is not short), Justice Showers spoke. She spoke directly to CF Margai and said that "In light of this application and the special circumstances of the juvenile, in light of the mother's condition, in light of... " so many things- now as soon as she started saying 'in light of' and laid out the conditions she did- I knew it had to be a yes but as always I had a slight smile and still held my breath- I mean after 4 years of not getting the answer we desired there was always a chance...
Finally she said the words we so wanted to hear "The application is granted" She then went on to read a few conditions and we could all smile and say thank you. Jerry stood up in front of her to say thanks and even Boi who doesn't understand English must have understood the side squeeze I gave her as the judge was talking as she said thank you as well. It was a quick rush out of the room so after my thanks on the way out that was the end of it all. We met back at Mr. Margai's office and he started preparing the official court order. He asked me to wait in Freetown until the next day to collect it so I quickly got Talitha, Jerry, and Kate ready to head back to Bo so Jerry could finish his school exams and Talitha could start work at the hospital and then I stayed in Freetown yet again.
How excited was I the next morning when I held the signed court order in my hands. It is finished- Jerry Benya Lowe's adoption is FINAL. While he and I were walking on the street I said that to him- "Jerry you are finally a Lowe"- he responded to me, "I have been a Lowe for a long time." He is so right. In their hearts- all of them- Jerry has been a part of the Lowe family for years- it is just that we have a piece of paper that can now start the process of bringing him home to his family.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Have enough patience yet?
Today we walked from the guest house to the court house. We arrived to find a large number of military men guarding all sides of the court house- sidewalks, gates, walk ways- every thing. They were not about to let us in saying court was closed and all cases were postponed. What? Well we tried to tell them we were told just yesterday we have a court date set for today, Brenda is leaving today... finally i just mentioned our lawyers name and we were passed the first guy. I learned my lesson- at the next gate we started with the lawyers name- ushered right through.
We had to wait a little for our lawyer to come but we did meet Jerry's biological family already there waiting for us. Not too long and our lawyer showed up pulled us into a room and had a good talk with all of us and especially complimented Brenda and I on our beautiful African clothes. Around 9:45 we were called into the judges chambers. She heard part of our case and assigned it again for the same time next Wednesday. More patience. It is not a no so we keep moving forward. Our lawyer still seems confident and we keep praying. And learning more patience.
We had to wait a little for our lawyer to come but we did meet Jerry's biological family already there waiting for us. Not too long and our lawyer showed up pulled us into a room and had a good talk with all of us and especially complimented Brenda and I on our beautiful African clothes. Around 9:45 we were called into the judges chambers. She heard part of our case and assigned it again for the same time next Wednesday. More patience. It is not a no so we keep moving forward. Our lawyer still seems confident and we keep praying. And learning more patience.
Friday, February 3, 2012
God is at work
I am not even sure where to begin this story.
My first trip here to Sierra Leone in 2006 I traveled on a team with a father and son named Ron and Dylan Lowe- they were kinda my best buds on the trip. During their stay at the orphanage they fell in love with a boy named Jerry. Jerry's father was killed by the rebels the month before he was born. His uncle carried his pregnant mother on his back to Bo trying to get away from the rebels and Jerry was born in a camp in Bo after they arrived. He was named after the guard there. Their family did eventually travel back to their village of Kpangbia and Jerry took the mother's father's last name and was raised as Jerry Benya. He went to his first few years of school there but with a physically and mentally handicapped mother the burden eventually became to great for the grandparents to handle and Jerry came to stay at JCC a few months before our visit.
When Ron and Dylan returned home they shared much with their family but mostly about Jerry. Not long after the family started supporting Jerry and praying for him. they talked of adoption but didn't want to just make an emotional decision. After a lot of time spent in prayer and years of letters back and forth I had the opportunity to be in Sierra Leone with their son Dylan (he was visiting for the second time) when they made the final decision to adopt Jerry. Dylan and I were in Bonthe- an island far from Bo and difficult to reach, sitting eating a meal with some staff when he got the call. He was so anxious to be the one to tell Jerry that we could barely keep him from swimming back. the next morning we reached Mattru but couldn't get a vehicle to Bo until the next day- that was WAY to long for Dylan so we hired a honda to take him. He was able to be the one to tell Jerry that they were brothers. That was in 2008.
Since that time so many hurdles and struggles have stopped this adoption from going through. It was started and Social Welfare gave their approval BEFORE the moratorium on adoptions went in place. However since we had not gone to court prior it was extremely difficult to move forward with it all. This along with many set backs (lost money, lawyers who took advantage of us, investigations not done properly...) caused the whole thing to just sit for a time. FINALLY in July 2010 we were able to get a court date. Ron and Brenda both traveled to Sierra Leone and it was the first time Brenda met Jerry in person. They had written letters and talked on the phone and seen mnay photos and even video- so they knew each other already but meeting in person- it was something special. My sister Amy was here at the time and she and I had picked them up with the jeep. The four of us drove into the compound and with Ron and Brenda in the back seat jerry came up to the window and placed his hand against the glass matching up with Brenda's hand. That was it. Jerry was already in love with Ron and had been since day one- but now he would come and seek Brenda out. The love between them is a love only from God. It is true and real.
On July 8th we went to court and unfortunately the judge denied the adoption. There is a part of the adoption act that states that the adoptive parents have to live in Sierra Leone for 6 months prior to adopting. Though this has been true for some time many judges feel this is not in the best interest of the child- how can a parent leave their job and come here and then still have what it takes to support the child when they return to the states. The relationship that the Lowes and Jerry have had over the past number of years shows their love and support for Jerry and that it would continue- however this judge just denied the case outright. we were called to the lawyers office to hear the news. Ron and Brenda sat near the lawyer and Jerry and I sat on the couch with Amy on the floor next to Jerry. When the lawyer told us the news Jerry had silent tears running down his face and all of a sudden his shoulders started shaking and he was devastated. Ron and Brenda were also in tears. What a loss. We had a few days before they had to fly home. We all went to River #2 and were able to still laugh but also to talk about how Jerry would always be a part of their family no matter what. They did not need a piece of paper for that. They would continue to fight as well. It was an extremely difficult good bye at the airport.
Only a few short months after that I came home to the states for a time. It was difficult for Jerry and Brenda talked how he would often be in tears on the phone to her. However there were also many times when he was the one encouraging her and lifting her up. Telling her how God was in control and how he would make a way.
This moratorium has staying in place now for 4 years. Though there is great disagreement on whether it is even legal it is still holding up adoption cases. Brenda decided that she still needed to come for a visit and so this January she came to Salone. We still checked with our lawyer and a few others to see if there was a chance we could go to court again- each time we were told the judges were not seeing adoption cases. Even though we had all the documents we needed to go to court- especially Social Welfare approval. Brenda decided it was alright she would spend the time with Jerry and wait until the ban lifted.
We have been told over and over that a child can be adopted internationally through their 16th year. I am not sure why but after Brenda had been here about a week we decided to check on this much more carefully. In the states we were told there was nothing about that only that the I600 had to be filed before they turned 16- however we cannot file that here until after the adoption is completed. We then called the US embassy here and they stated VERY CLEARLY that the adoption has to be completed BEFORE the child turns 16. The visa can be applied for anytime after that but the adoption was clear in the time it needed to be completed. Well Jerry turns 16 on April 2nd of this year. That means we really only have a couple months. This is Brenda's last chance to do this.
Around this same time we were given the number to a very prominent lawyer (I'll give his name after this is all finished as if you know much about Salone you will know him) and we took the risk to head to Freetown. We arrived Thursday and he said he would meet with us Friday morning. He asked if we could have Jerry and Jerry's biological family in his office on Monday- YES. We headed back to Bo- calling the village and arranging it all- even though we thought it was clear Sat night as we were getting ready to leave the next morning we called to find out they had gone back to the village and were confused about the travel. After a bit of panic and some help from God a vehicle was able to get them at 10pm (not easy in a far out village) and get them to Mogbwemo where they were able to meet the vehicle to Freetown at 4am. We all met at the lawyers office and started the paper work.
Tuesday we called Pam our travel agent as Brenda was to fly out Wednesday. She looked for flights and if Brenda flew out the next Sunday it would cost $450 but anything after that would be $3000. WOW we wanted to book for the Sunday but couldn't be sure we would go to court before then. (when we first asked the lawyer he told us if Brenda extended her trip a fortnight that would be enough and that was Friday- well who knows how long a fortnight is. Not wanting to admit our lack of knowledge we just said okay. I thought it was a week- Brenda 4 nights. So we though Sunday would be good. We still looked online to find out that it was 2 weeks- huh learn something new all the time) We asked the lawyer and he thought it would be fine as that would give us 2 weeks from Friday. However when we called Pam back she said she had found a flight for the same cost leaving Wed. the 8th. We told her to book that one.
Back to work with the documents. We put together almost 30 pages for him in one afternoon and he did another 25 or so more of his own. We had to send Jerry back to go to school and we had to stay until Wednesday when we were able to have Brenda sign the papers and they were submitted to the court. We were told we would hear something on Friday or Monday. Well when Monday afternoon reached and we hadn't heard I gave him a call- he said that he hadn't heard and would call us when he did. Tuesday afternoon Brenda and I debated calling but did- when he responded a bit firmly that he had told us he would call and take it that if he didn't call he hadn't heard anything we didn't call again. However as Wednesday and Thursday came and went it became a whole lot more difficult to be patient. Friday we decided to pray and fast. At 2 we were going to meet with whatever staff was around to pray specifically for this (we pray every morning in devotions but this would be a concentrated amount of time). 2 came and the school children were in the barri so Brenda and I started in her room. Outside shortly after we heard the staff wandering around asking about the prayer meeting. We came out and all sat in Shermer's Hut by the school. I have no words to explain this time of prayer. It was so heartfelt and urgent. Songs and prayers called out- all praying at the same time and then going around one by one until everyone had prayed. Bible stories and examples of God's faithfulness shared. It was a special time that will never be forgotten. Just as the last two people in the circle were taking their turns to pray (and there were at least 20 of us) my phone rang. It was the lawyer's secretary. We have a court date (there was a huge chance no judge would hear our case so this is victory #2- after finding a lawyer to take our case). Get this the court date is WEDNESDAY. Brenda doesn't fly out until almost midnight so we will be able to go to court first. However had we booked the flight for Sunday or had this one not become available I am not sure she would have been here Wed.
We still do not know God's will in this situation. Does he want Jerry to stay here or to be able to go join the Lowe family- we do not know. I also know that he would have his reasons for opening so many doors and allowing us to come this far and not have it go through- but we are praying in confidence that the judge will allow the adoption. Both the Lowe family and Jerry desire it so much and the love they have for each other is strong.
Through it all we desire God's will most. We want to be able to sing the song "it is well, it is well, it is well in the name of Jesus, it is well with my soul today" at the end of this and mean it- no matter the outcome.
I am asking all of you to pray along with us. Pray for the judge in making this decision that he or she would have a soft heart to hear what God wants. Pray for the Lowe family as they love Jerry dearly (and have invested so much in this financially and their time and emotions). Pray for Jerry as he has his hopes fully up in this again and wants it so badly. Pray that God would use this as growth in his life no matter what happens and that Jerry will continue to know that he is dearly loved. Pray for me that I know when to push and when to let things happen. Pray I will be able to celebrate or bring comfort when the time is needed.
Thanks for listening and praying. Thanks to God for what he has already done and what he has shown us. Only he could have brought us this far and only he will see us through.
My first trip here to Sierra Leone in 2006 I traveled on a team with a father and son named Ron and Dylan Lowe- they were kinda my best buds on the trip. During their stay at the orphanage they fell in love with a boy named Jerry. Jerry's father was killed by the rebels the month before he was born. His uncle carried his pregnant mother on his back to Bo trying to get away from the rebels and Jerry was born in a camp in Bo after they arrived. He was named after the guard there. Their family did eventually travel back to their village of Kpangbia and Jerry took the mother's father's last name and was raised as Jerry Benya. He went to his first few years of school there but with a physically and mentally handicapped mother the burden eventually became to great for the grandparents to handle and Jerry came to stay at JCC a few months before our visit.
When Ron and Dylan returned home they shared much with their family but mostly about Jerry. Not long after the family started supporting Jerry and praying for him. they talked of adoption but didn't want to just make an emotional decision. After a lot of time spent in prayer and years of letters back and forth I had the opportunity to be in Sierra Leone with their son Dylan (he was visiting for the second time) when they made the final decision to adopt Jerry. Dylan and I were in Bonthe- an island far from Bo and difficult to reach, sitting eating a meal with some staff when he got the call. He was so anxious to be the one to tell Jerry that we could barely keep him from swimming back. the next morning we reached Mattru but couldn't get a vehicle to Bo until the next day- that was WAY to long for Dylan so we hired a honda to take him. He was able to be the one to tell Jerry that they were brothers. That was in 2008.
Since that time so many hurdles and struggles have stopped this adoption from going through. It was started and Social Welfare gave their approval BEFORE the moratorium on adoptions went in place. However since we had not gone to court prior it was extremely difficult to move forward with it all. This along with many set backs (lost money, lawyers who took advantage of us, investigations not done properly...) caused the whole thing to just sit for a time. FINALLY in July 2010 we were able to get a court date. Ron and Brenda both traveled to Sierra Leone and it was the first time Brenda met Jerry in person. They had written letters and talked on the phone and seen mnay photos and even video- so they knew each other already but meeting in person- it was something special. My sister Amy was here at the time and she and I had picked them up with the jeep. The four of us drove into the compound and with Ron and Brenda in the back seat jerry came up to the window and placed his hand against the glass matching up with Brenda's hand. That was it. Jerry was already in love with Ron and had been since day one- but now he would come and seek Brenda out. The love between them is a love only from God. It is true and real.
On July 8th we went to court and unfortunately the judge denied the adoption. There is a part of the adoption act that states that the adoptive parents have to live in Sierra Leone for 6 months prior to adopting. Though this has been true for some time many judges feel this is not in the best interest of the child- how can a parent leave their job and come here and then still have what it takes to support the child when they return to the states. The relationship that the Lowes and Jerry have had over the past number of years shows their love and support for Jerry and that it would continue- however this judge just denied the case outright. we were called to the lawyers office to hear the news. Ron and Brenda sat near the lawyer and Jerry and I sat on the couch with Amy on the floor next to Jerry. When the lawyer told us the news Jerry had silent tears running down his face and all of a sudden his shoulders started shaking and he was devastated. Ron and Brenda were also in tears. What a loss. We had a few days before they had to fly home. We all went to River #2 and were able to still laugh but also to talk about how Jerry would always be a part of their family no matter what. They did not need a piece of paper for that. They would continue to fight as well. It was an extremely difficult good bye at the airport.
Only a few short months after that I came home to the states for a time. It was difficult for Jerry and Brenda talked how he would often be in tears on the phone to her. However there were also many times when he was the one encouraging her and lifting her up. Telling her how God was in control and how he would make a way.
This moratorium has staying in place now for 4 years. Though there is great disagreement on whether it is even legal it is still holding up adoption cases. Brenda decided that she still needed to come for a visit and so this January she came to Salone. We still checked with our lawyer and a few others to see if there was a chance we could go to court again- each time we were told the judges were not seeing adoption cases. Even though we had all the documents we needed to go to court- especially Social Welfare approval. Brenda decided it was alright she would spend the time with Jerry and wait until the ban lifted.
We have been told over and over that a child can be adopted internationally through their 16th year. I am not sure why but after Brenda had been here about a week we decided to check on this much more carefully. In the states we were told there was nothing about that only that the I600 had to be filed before they turned 16- however we cannot file that here until after the adoption is completed. We then called the US embassy here and they stated VERY CLEARLY that the adoption has to be completed BEFORE the child turns 16. The visa can be applied for anytime after that but the adoption was clear in the time it needed to be completed. Well Jerry turns 16 on April 2nd of this year. That means we really only have a couple months. This is Brenda's last chance to do this.
Around this same time we were given the number to a very prominent lawyer (I'll give his name after this is all finished as if you know much about Salone you will know him) and we took the risk to head to Freetown. We arrived Thursday and he said he would meet with us Friday morning. He asked if we could have Jerry and Jerry's biological family in his office on Monday- YES. We headed back to Bo- calling the village and arranging it all- even though we thought it was clear Sat night as we were getting ready to leave the next morning we called to find out they had gone back to the village and were confused about the travel. After a bit of panic and some help from God a vehicle was able to get them at 10pm (not easy in a far out village) and get them to Mogbwemo where they were able to meet the vehicle to Freetown at 4am. We all met at the lawyers office and started the paper work.
Tuesday we called Pam our travel agent as Brenda was to fly out Wednesday. She looked for flights and if Brenda flew out the next Sunday it would cost $450 but anything after that would be $3000. WOW we wanted to book for the Sunday but couldn't be sure we would go to court before then. (when we first asked the lawyer he told us if Brenda extended her trip a fortnight that would be enough and that was Friday- well who knows how long a fortnight is. Not wanting to admit our lack of knowledge we just said okay. I thought it was a week- Brenda 4 nights. So we though Sunday would be good. We still looked online to find out that it was 2 weeks- huh learn something new all the time) We asked the lawyer and he thought it would be fine as that would give us 2 weeks from Friday. However when we called Pam back she said she had found a flight for the same cost leaving Wed. the 8th. We told her to book that one.
Back to work with the documents. We put together almost 30 pages for him in one afternoon and he did another 25 or so more of his own. We had to send Jerry back to go to school and we had to stay until Wednesday when we were able to have Brenda sign the papers and they were submitted to the court. We were told we would hear something on Friday or Monday. Well when Monday afternoon reached and we hadn't heard I gave him a call- he said that he hadn't heard and would call us when he did. Tuesday afternoon Brenda and I debated calling but did- when he responded a bit firmly that he had told us he would call and take it that if he didn't call he hadn't heard anything we didn't call again. However as Wednesday and Thursday came and went it became a whole lot more difficult to be patient. Friday we decided to pray and fast. At 2 we were going to meet with whatever staff was around to pray specifically for this (we pray every morning in devotions but this would be a concentrated amount of time). 2 came and the school children were in the barri so Brenda and I started in her room. Outside shortly after we heard the staff wandering around asking about the prayer meeting. We came out and all sat in Shermer's Hut by the school. I have no words to explain this time of prayer. It was so heartfelt and urgent. Songs and prayers called out- all praying at the same time and then going around one by one until everyone had prayed. Bible stories and examples of God's faithfulness shared. It was a special time that will never be forgotten. Just as the last two people in the circle were taking their turns to pray (and there were at least 20 of us) my phone rang. It was the lawyer's secretary. We have a court date (there was a huge chance no judge would hear our case so this is victory #2- after finding a lawyer to take our case). Get this the court date is WEDNESDAY. Brenda doesn't fly out until almost midnight so we will be able to go to court first. However had we booked the flight for Sunday or had this one not become available I am not sure she would have been here Wed.
We still do not know God's will in this situation. Does he want Jerry to stay here or to be able to go join the Lowe family- we do not know. I also know that he would have his reasons for opening so many doors and allowing us to come this far and not have it go through- but we are praying in confidence that the judge will allow the adoption. Both the Lowe family and Jerry desire it so much and the love they have for each other is strong.
Through it all we desire God's will most. We want to be able to sing the song "it is well, it is well, it is well in the name of Jesus, it is well with my soul today" at the end of this and mean it- no matter the outcome.
I am asking all of you to pray along with us. Pray for the judge in making this decision that he or she would have a soft heart to hear what God wants. Pray for the Lowe family as they love Jerry dearly (and have invested so much in this financially and their time and emotions). Pray for Jerry as he has his hopes fully up in this again and wants it so badly. Pray that God would use this as growth in his life no matter what happens and that Jerry will continue to know that he is dearly loved. Pray for me that I know when to push and when to let things happen. Pray I will be able to celebrate or bring comfort when the time is needed.
Thanks for listening and praying. Thanks to God for what he has already done and what he has shown us. Only he could have brought us this far and only he will see us through.
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