Friday, February 3, 2012

God is at work

I am not even sure where to begin this story.

My first trip here to Sierra Leone in 2006 I traveled on a team with a father and son named Ron and Dylan Lowe- they were kinda my best buds on the trip. During their stay at the orphanage they fell in love with a boy named Jerry. Jerry's father was killed by the rebels the month before he was born. His uncle carried his pregnant mother on his back to Bo trying to get away from the rebels and Jerry was born in a camp in Bo after they arrived. He was named after the guard there. Their family did eventually travel back to their village of Kpangbia and Jerry took the mother's father's last name and was raised as Jerry Benya. He went to his first few years of school there but with a physically and mentally handicapped mother the burden eventually became to great for the grandparents to handle and Jerry came to stay at JCC a few months before our visit.

When Ron and Dylan returned home they shared much with their family but mostly about Jerry. Not long after the family started supporting Jerry and praying for him. they talked of adoption but didn't want to just make an emotional decision. After a lot of time spent in prayer and years of letters back and forth I had the opportunity to be in Sierra Leone with their son Dylan (he was visiting for the second time) when they made the final decision to adopt Jerry. Dylan and I were in Bonthe- an island far from Bo and difficult to reach, sitting eating a meal with some staff when he got the call. He was so anxious to be the one to tell Jerry that we could barely keep him from swimming back. the next morning we reached Mattru but couldn't get a vehicle to Bo until the next day- that was WAY to long for Dylan so we hired a honda to take him. He was able to be the one to tell Jerry that they were brothers. That was in 2008.

Since that time so many hurdles and struggles have stopped this adoption from going through. It was started and Social Welfare gave their approval BEFORE the moratorium on adoptions went in place. However since we had not gone to court prior it was extremely difficult to move forward with it all. This along with many set backs (lost money, lawyers who took advantage of us, investigations not done properly...) caused the whole thing to just sit for a time. FINALLY in July 2010 we were able to get a court date. Ron and Brenda both traveled to Sierra Leone and it was the first time Brenda met Jerry in person. They had written letters and talked on the phone and seen mnay photos and even video- so they knew each other already but meeting in person- it was something special. My sister Amy was here at the time and she and I had picked them up with the jeep. The four of us drove into the compound and with Ron and Brenda in the back seat jerry came up to the window and placed his hand against the glass matching up with Brenda's hand. That was it. Jerry was already in love with Ron and had been since day one- but now he would come and seek Brenda out. The love between them is a love only from God. It is true and real.

On July 8th we went to court and unfortunately the judge denied the adoption. There is a part of the adoption act that states that the adoptive parents have to live in Sierra Leone for 6 months prior to adopting. Though this has been true for some time many judges feel this is not in the best interest of the child- how can a parent leave their job and come here and then still have what it takes to support the child when they return to the states. The relationship that the Lowes and Jerry have had over the past number of years shows their love and support for Jerry and that it would continue- however this judge just denied the case outright. we were called to the lawyers office to hear the news. Ron and Brenda sat near the lawyer and Jerry and I sat on the couch with Amy on the floor next to Jerry. When the lawyer told us the news Jerry had silent tears running down his face and all of a sudden his shoulders started shaking and he was devastated. Ron and Brenda were also in tears. What a loss. We had a few days before they had to fly home. We all went to River #2 and were able to still laugh but also to talk about how Jerry would always be a part of their family no matter what. They did not need a piece of paper for that. They would continue to fight as well. It was an extremely difficult good bye at the airport.

Only a few short months after that I came home to the states for a time. It was difficult for Jerry and Brenda talked how he would often be in tears on the phone to her. However there were also many times when he was the one encouraging her and lifting her up. Telling her how God was in control and how he would make a way.

This moratorium has staying in place now for 4 years. Though there is great disagreement on whether it is even legal it is still holding up adoption cases. Brenda decided that she still needed to come for a visit and so this January she came to Salone. We still checked with our lawyer and a few others to see if there was a chance we could go to court again- each time we were told the judges were not seeing adoption cases. Even though we had all the documents we needed to go to court- especially Social Welfare approval. Brenda decided it was alright she would spend the time with Jerry and wait until the ban lifted.

We have been told over and over that a child can be adopted internationally through their 16th year. I am not sure why but after Brenda had been here about a week we decided to check on this much more carefully. In the states we were told there was nothing about that only that the I600 had to be filed before they turned 16- however we cannot file that here until after the adoption is completed. We then called the US embassy here and they stated VERY CLEARLY that the adoption has to be completed BEFORE the child turns 16. The visa can be applied for anytime after that but the adoption was clear in the time it needed to be completed. Well Jerry turns 16 on April 2nd of this year. That means we really only have a couple months. This is Brenda's last chance to do this.

Around this same time we were given the number to a very prominent lawyer (I'll give his name after this is all finished as if you know much about Salone you will know him) and we took the risk to head to Freetown. We arrived Thursday and he said he would meet with us Friday morning. He asked if we could have Jerry and Jerry's biological family in his office on Monday- YES. We headed back to Bo- calling the village and arranging it all- even though we thought it was clear Sat night as we were getting ready to leave the next morning we called to find out they had gone back to the village and were confused about the travel. After a bit of panic and some help from God a vehicle was able to get them at 10pm (not easy in a far out village) and get them to Mogbwemo where they were able to meet the vehicle to Freetown at 4am. We all met at the lawyers office and started the paper work.

Tuesday we called Pam our travel agent as Brenda was to fly out Wednesday. She looked for flights and if Brenda flew out the next Sunday it would cost $450 but anything after that would be $3000. WOW we wanted to book for the Sunday but couldn't be sure we would go to court before then. (when we first asked the lawyer he told us if Brenda extended her trip a fortnight that would be enough and that was Friday- well who knows how long a fortnight is. Not wanting to admit our lack of knowledge we just said okay. I thought it was a week- Brenda 4 nights. So we though Sunday would be good. We still looked online to find out that it was 2 weeks- huh learn something new all the time) We asked the lawyer and he thought it would be fine as that would give us 2 weeks from Friday. However when we called Pam back she said she had found a flight for the same cost leaving Wed. the 8th. We told her to book that one.

Back to work with the documents. We put together almost 30 pages for him in one afternoon and he did another 25 or so more of his own. We had to send Jerry back to go to school and we had to stay until Wednesday when we were able to have Brenda sign the papers and they were submitted to the court. We were told we would hear something on Friday or Monday. Well when Monday afternoon reached and we hadn't heard I gave him a call- he said that he hadn't heard and would call us when he did. Tuesday afternoon Brenda and I debated calling but did- when he responded a bit firmly that he had told us he would call and take it that if he didn't call he hadn't heard anything we didn't call again. However as Wednesday and Thursday came and went it became a whole lot more difficult to be patient. Friday we decided to pray and fast. At 2 we were going to meet with whatever staff was around to pray specifically for this (we pray every morning in devotions but this would be a concentrated amount of time). 2 came and the school children were in the barri so Brenda and I started in her room. Outside shortly after we heard the staff wandering around asking about the prayer meeting. We came out and all sat in Shermer's Hut by the school. I have no words to explain this time of prayer. It was so heartfelt and urgent. Songs and prayers called out- all praying at the same time and then going around one by one until everyone had prayed. Bible stories and examples of God's faithfulness shared. It was a special time that will never be forgotten. Just as the last two people in the circle were taking their turns to pray (and there were at least 20 of us) my phone rang. It was the lawyer's secretary. We have a court date (there was a huge chance no judge would hear our case so this is victory #2- after finding a lawyer to take our case). Get this the court date is WEDNESDAY. Brenda doesn't fly out until almost midnight so we will be able to go to court first. However had we booked the flight for Sunday or had this one not become available I am not sure she would have been here Wed.

We still do not know God's will in this situation. Does he want Jerry to stay here or to be able to go join the Lowe family- we do not know. I also know that he would have his reasons for opening so many doors and allowing us to come this far and not have it go through- but we are praying in confidence that the judge will allow the adoption. Both the Lowe family and Jerry desire it so much and the love they have for each other is strong.

Through it all we desire God's will most. We want to be able to sing the song "it is well, it is well, it is well in the name of Jesus, it is well with my soul today" at the end of this and mean it- no matter the outcome.

I am asking all of you to pray along with us. Pray for the judge in making this decision that he or she would have a soft heart to hear what God wants. Pray for the Lowe family as they love Jerry dearly (and have invested so much in this financially and their time and emotions). Pray for Jerry as he has his hopes fully up in this again and wants it so badly. Pray that God would use this as growth in his life no matter what happens and that Jerry will continue to know that he is dearly loved. Pray for me that I know when to push and when to let things happen. Pray I will be able to celebrate or bring comfort when the time is needed.

Thanks for listening and praying. Thanks to God for what he has already done and what he has shown us. Only he could have brought us this far and only he will see us through.

1 comment:

Eric said...

Christie,

What a amazing account of the joys, struggles, and truths of this journey! So thankful that God has placed you in this journey!

We will be praying! Hug Brenda for us!
Love,
Sarah Eric Hanah and Grace