Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Photo Card
Picture Joy Christmas
Quick and easy: Christmas photo cards at Shutterfly.
View the entire collection of cards.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Mbalama and Mbatilo
We have two precious new additions here at JCCM. Mbalama and Mbatilo were born on the 10th of February 2012. Sadly their mother died just after giving birth. They were born in a village east of Kenema to a polygamist family. Their father has 3-4 wives and 5 other small children. Here it is very difficult for one of the other wives to take in the children born to a different mother. Also the father is old with many other young children and he would not have been able to support these two little ones. God watched over them from the moment they were born. In their first week of life they had milk only one time and somehow survived on sugar water. One of the wives brought the babies to a lady in New London, Bo. Her name is Lovetta and she is known for her love of children. When they reached her she brought them straight to Gondama hospital. Here they were put on a feeding program and Social Welfare was involved. When the twins were 3 weeks old Social Welfare placed them into our care. However at this time they were not ready to leave the hospital. This was actually good for us as it gave us a little time to prepare. Preparing the mothers was the hardest part. It seems to happen often here at JCCM. When we first tell one of the moms she is getting a baby she hestitates and really is not too excited. I mean it is a LOT of work. So we talked to Mommie Amie in house 3 and Mommy Erica in house 4. Their aunties were excited and ready but it took the moms and I visiting the babies at the hospital for them to really get into it. The twins stayed at the hospital for another 3 weeks to complete stage 1 and 2 of the program and move onto stage three. This also allowed them to get on the list to receive formula each week. Now the mom's take the twins each Tuesday to be weighed and receive the next weeks formula- a big help to us.
 |
| Mbalama (girl) and Mbatilo (boy) |
These two are dearly loved here already- carried around by everyone, big and little. They are doing well and growing though Mbalama is growing MUCH faster than Mbatilo- she helps him finish his formula each week. Mbalama Soa was born first- her name means "don't forget" and Soa means "first born twin". She eats and eats and is the one to cry when she wants to eat. I think this caused her to get the most food in the hospital and the most attention. Mbatilo Jinnah means "people's child" and "second born twin". He is tiny still but is very strong. He will focus on you and follow you with his eyes more than Mbalama. He also holds himself up quite well. He at first would rather sleep than eat. We also think he had a lot of stomach issues but we have worked hard to fix that. These two are now dearly loved by their mothers- who are also very posessive of them. They have brought a new light to the compound and we are blessed to be able to care for them. I think their names together are very fitting. We will not forget them and we will all love and raise them together. May we show them the love of the Father who brought them to us and has each day of their lives in his hands.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Christie/Christie
Christie Massaquoi is my first namesake- this little Sharon Christie is the second (she often goes by Christie or Sha Sha) and just last weekend the third little Christie was born. Patrick and Mary Blackie live at our Girl's Ministry House. Their daughter was born last Saturday and they named her Patricia Christie. I couldn't be more honored. Each time I am so surprised and feel such joy. These girls make me proud to have the name Christie and feel special to share it with them.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
A happy scar
Not exactly the post you would expect after such a long silence but it is one that I have been thinking about sharing each time I look down at my own hand. Time for a little honesty now- I have been homesick a lot lately. Yes over the years it has come and I know it will continue to come- however this time it has lasted a whole lot longer than usual and I have felt it in a different way than in the past. So maybe that is why this scar is so often on my mind- well it is always on my hand so not far from any quick glance down.. 
This one was a simple one. A wound I never would have expected to turn into a scar. While I was home last October/November I spent time working in the shop with my dad as I always do- especially during the month of November. On one of my last days in the shop I had just finished filling a box with hamburger I had stuffed off the stuffer and went to carry it out to the new freezer in that back as I had done dozens of times that day. This trip as I was closing the freezer door my hand happen to run along a piece of metal that was hanging loose. It just scraped of the top layer of skin. I think because the freezer is so cold it took some time for it to actually bleed. I walked in the back door to find my dad working away at his table as he so often is and showed him this extremely white line on my hand. Eventually it bled a little and scabbed over and I thought within a few weeks it would be gone. Now 7 months later it is still there on my hand. 
Well everytime I look down at my hand I see myself walking into the back door of the shop and finding my dad at his table- knife in hand, working hard, taking a small break to turn away and look at my hand and laugh with me and then get back to work while still talking through it all.
I cannot tell you how many mornings I have gotten up early to stand at the table next to my dad by 5am and work together. Now at 5am you will find him ready to talk and me ready to work and just listen. by 6-7am I will join in the talking. Thankfully over the past few years my hours have changed slightly so that I don't start before 7 or 8 but you will still find us working at tables not too far from each other. In this building, THE SHOP as we will always call it, is where my dad and I have the majority of our conversations. Many of you who stop in there have the same. "Come on back and talk to me- I gotta keep working or Greg will hell at me" you will often hear him say. So we come back and stand and talk. Now that our house is no longer right next to the shop but up behind the shop we come down and enter through the back door- the door at my dad's table and as we enter he will have some crazy greeting or quick advice to give or an errand he needs us to run.
As I am far away and missing home- missing my dad- I look down often at my hand. Whether trying to see the scar or not- it is there in plain view and as I see it I see dad through the back door working at his table. A very clear picture in my mind and the sound of his voice in my ears.
I like this scar- and need the feeling it brings.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Take two or is it three
Now my third week in a row in Freetown. I have only been able to head back to Bo on the weekends and even last weekend I spent in the Gola Rain forest and Kenema so to say the least I am missing the kids something fierce and have a lot of work piling up at home. However as I have said this is also part of the job and in someways I am amazed each morning at the people I am meeting with for this job.
Yes JERRY'S ADOPTION IS FINAL. I do have the court order and I heard with my own ears the judge granting the adoption. However in this country and even our own that does not end all our problems and make the way forward smooth. One of Brenda's dear friends told her shortly after hearing the news of the adoption that we still need to be in prayer and watchful. Satan does not like to lose and in this situation we not only got the adoption we so wanted approved but our staff and children's faith has grown individually and even more so as a group together. The day after I received the court order- the attacks started coming.
I had been calling the Embassy and finally on the 6th call I was told to come to a meeting at 1pm Thurs. I arrived there early- waited, went through all the security and sign ins and finally made it into the main building- waited again. Finally when I was able to speak with someone they told me that the moratorium on adoptions still stands and though I have the court order it should all be worked with on the US side first. I did know this but in all the other 6 phone calls I was told to come to the Embassy to start what they can here. At least the drive along the hillside is pretty.
From there I headed to Social Welfare as the Visa investigation will start there and they needed to be aware of where we were at with this case. WOW- they were NOT happy at all. The Permanent Secretary raised his voice several times and essentially said that they would not tolerate the courts going ahead without them and that they would not recognize Jerry's adoption. This of course made our lawyer CF very hot and he said that the courts are the highest authority in the land so who are they to stop this case. Anyway after meeting with them both on Thursday I met with them both again at separate times on Friday. Mrs. Bangura is the Director or Children's Affairs at Social Welfare and knows me and remembers Jerry. She has been willing to work with me on this and I have had to be very diplomatic in what I say and how i react to keep our relationship and standing with SW intact but to also move Jerry's situation and the other adoptions we want forward. She asked me to come back and meet with her again on Tuesday of this week so after another long morning I was able to finally head back to the provinces.
Earlier in the week when I thought I would be back in Bo on Wednesday we had made plans with Talitha, Kate, Bret and JK to go to the Gola Rainforest for the weekend. Come Friday it wasn't really something I wanted to do anymore but knowing how much they all wanted it and said they would not go without me I tried to muster the energy to go. I had to just quickly stop in Bo to empty and refill my suitcase and get Kate and Talitha- I think it was torture on the kids and on me to just say hello and good bye. We arrived in Kenema around 8 or so and had to go searching for dinner and lunch for the following day. I barely dragged myself back to my bed on the floor in the office to crash.
We woke early in the morning to head out to the forest. I HAD NO IDEA what this trip would entail. I was told 30 miles from Kenema was the drive and we would see monkeys, birds, rain forest, butterflies... so in my mind i did think of Salone roads and thought maybe an hour and a half in the car- walk around for the day and even if we left there around 6 we would be home before 8pm. Well I was wrong- it was closer to 60 miles and 3 and 1/2 hours to get there and because of the dark over 4 hours to get home. We did not see any animals besides butterflies and maybe two birds. It was great to be in the forest- but the original hike they wanted to take us on was 14 miles- I was exhausted and not prepared. We did not do that full hike and we did end up at a river and Kate and I swam and it was beautiful and peaceful but... I almost had a breakdown in the car on the way back. My body and mind had had enough and I was especially done with bouncing all over the car on the terrible roads and my legs after two FULL days in the car were going crazy in that same position. Needless to say by the time we got back to Kenema around 10pm I was done. The next morning and day at church and hanging out was fine but I knew that I would be heading back to Freetown on Monday and was missing time at home. It was a good weekend looking back on it now and I did enjoy myself but I learned that I need to set better boundaries and I cannot do it all.
Monday found me traveling back to Freetown this time in Public transport as I could not imagine driving yet again and it is much cheaper. My meetings with both SW and Margai were scheduled for Tuesday so hopefully I would get back to Bo Tues. evening or Wed. morning at the latest- wait this is Salone remember. My meetings dragged out and had more than one and was finally able to come back Thurs. afternoon and that was because I said enough is enough and told Margai I could not meet again on Friday.
However the meetings did go well and you have to play the game here- be patient- keep going back- be firm and yet speak nicely- let them think they have the upper hand- ask questions I might already know the answer to- give enough information but hold some.... After it all- we have pretty much been given permission to go ahead with filing Jerry's I600 and starting the visa investigation. I have a good relationship still with SW and I have gotten emails from the President of the Bar association confirming that adoption cases are now able to be heard in court and there was even a request for the Chief Justice to inform all Embassies and High Commissions of the developments and that the courts are open so that foreign governments can know and move forward on those grounds. Yesterday our lawyer had a meeting with the Ambassador and was told that a long as we have a court order that is what they will go by in moving forward and will start the investigation as soon as they have the paper work.
So after three long weeks- I think we are in a good place. The adoption is final, we can file the paper work, the Embassy knows about our case and is willing to move forward, Social Welfare knows about our case and is willing to let us move forward- and there is a very good chance that all adoptions will be fully open and flowing in the near future.
Now I am ready for a rest. :) After this very full weekend ahead I might get it next weekend.
thanks for all the prayers and encouragement. It has kept me going. I have made some new good friends along the way as well.
Jerry is still excited and doing well. He is also thankful and blessed by all of your prayers and support.
Now back to the little things in life- I am off to buy a truck load of firewood and go to the kids sport day at school.
Yes JERRY'S ADOPTION IS FINAL. I do have the court order and I heard with my own ears the judge granting the adoption. However in this country and even our own that does not end all our problems and make the way forward smooth. One of Brenda's dear friends told her shortly after hearing the news of the adoption that we still need to be in prayer and watchful. Satan does not like to lose and in this situation we not only got the adoption we so wanted approved but our staff and children's faith has grown individually and even more so as a group together. The day after I received the court order- the attacks started coming.
I had been calling the Embassy and finally on the 6th call I was told to come to a meeting at 1pm Thurs. I arrived there early- waited, went through all the security and sign ins and finally made it into the main building- waited again. Finally when I was able to speak with someone they told me that the moratorium on adoptions still stands and though I have the court order it should all be worked with on the US side first. I did know this but in all the other 6 phone calls I was told to come to the Embassy to start what they can here. At least the drive along the hillside is pretty.
From there I headed to Social Welfare as the Visa investigation will start there and they needed to be aware of where we were at with this case. WOW- they were NOT happy at all. The Permanent Secretary raised his voice several times and essentially said that they would not tolerate the courts going ahead without them and that they would not recognize Jerry's adoption. This of course made our lawyer CF very hot and he said that the courts are the highest authority in the land so who are they to stop this case. Anyway after meeting with them both on Thursday I met with them both again at separate times on Friday. Mrs. Bangura is the Director or Children's Affairs at Social Welfare and knows me and remembers Jerry. She has been willing to work with me on this and I have had to be very diplomatic in what I say and how i react to keep our relationship and standing with SW intact but to also move Jerry's situation and the other adoptions we want forward. She asked me to come back and meet with her again on Tuesday of this week so after another long morning I was able to finally head back to the provinces.
Earlier in the week when I thought I would be back in Bo on Wednesday we had made plans with Talitha, Kate, Bret and JK to go to the Gola Rainforest for the weekend. Come Friday it wasn't really something I wanted to do anymore but knowing how much they all wanted it and said they would not go without me I tried to muster the energy to go. I had to just quickly stop in Bo to empty and refill my suitcase and get Kate and Talitha- I think it was torture on the kids and on me to just say hello and good bye. We arrived in Kenema around 8 or so and had to go searching for dinner and lunch for the following day. I barely dragged myself back to my bed on the floor in the office to crash.
We woke early in the morning to head out to the forest. I HAD NO IDEA what this trip would entail. I was told 30 miles from Kenema was the drive and we would see monkeys, birds, rain forest, butterflies... so in my mind i did think of Salone roads and thought maybe an hour and a half in the car- walk around for the day and even if we left there around 6 we would be home before 8pm. Well I was wrong- it was closer to 60 miles and 3 and 1/2 hours to get there and because of the dark over 4 hours to get home. We did not see any animals besides butterflies and maybe two birds. It was great to be in the forest- but the original hike they wanted to take us on was 14 miles- I was exhausted and not prepared. We did not do that full hike and we did end up at a river and Kate and I swam and it was beautiful and peaceful but... I almost had a breakdown in the car on the way back. My body and mind had had enough and I was especially done with bouncing all over the car on the terrible roads and my legs after two FULL days in the car were going crazy in that same position. Needless to say by the time we got back to Kenema around 10pm I was done. The next morning and day at church and hanging out was fine but I knew that I would be heading back to Freetown on Monday and was missing time at home. It was a good weekend looking back on it now and I did enjoy myself but I learned that I need to set better boundaries and I cannot do it all.
Monday found me traveling back to Freetown this time in Public transport as I could not imagine driving yet again and it is much cheaper. My meetings with both SW and Margai were scheduled for Tuesday so hopefully I would get back to Bo Tues. evening or Wed. morning at the latest- wait this is Salone remember. My meetings dragged out and had more than one and was finally able to come back Thurs. afternoon and that was because I said enough is enough and told Margai I could not meet again on Friday.
However the meetings did go well and you have to play the game here- be patient- keep going back- be firm and yet speak nicely- let them think they have the upper hand- ask questions I might already know the answer to- give enough information but hold some.... After it all- we have pretty much been given permission to go ahead with filing Jerry's I600 and starting the visa investigation. I have a good relationship still with SW and I have gotten emails from the President of the Bar association confirming that adoption cases are now able to be heard in court and there was even a request for the Chief Justice to inform all Embassies and High Commissions of the developments and that the courts are open so that foreign governments can know and move forward on those grounds. Yesterday our lawyer had a meeting with the Ambassador and was told that a long as we have a court order that is what they will go by in moving forward and will start the investigation as soon as they have the paper work.
So after three long weeks- I think we are in a good place. The adoption is final, we can file the paper work, the Embassy knows about our case and is willing to move forward, Social Welfare knows about our case and is willing to let us move forward- and there is a very good chance that all adoptions will be fully open and flowing in the near future.
Now I am ready for a rest. :) After this very full weekend ahead I might get it next weekend.
thanks for all the prayers and encouragement. It has kept me going. I have made some new good friends along the way as well.
Jerry is still excited and doing well. He is also thankful and blessed by all of your prayers and support.
Now back to the little things in life- I am off to buy a truck load of firewood and go to the kids sport day at school.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
One more busy week in Freetown
(this post was started well over a week ago- so I will just finish it and post as is and get to the next one)
Sure a trip to the city is nice every now and then- but only every now and then. I remember a time when it would be 3 months without me traveling to Freetown- Now I have been here a good majority of the last month. I spent only Friday-Sunday in Bo over the past two weeks and will still be here in Freetown until at least tomorrow. It is more than just part of the job this time however and it is very worth the noise, constant people, sitting in traffic and the unique smells.
As of my last post you know that our adoption case with Jerry was post poned until this past Wednesday. However what I did not share was that after our last court date our lawyer wrote a letter to the Chief Justice (head judge), the President of Sierra Leone, The president of the Bar Association, Minister of Social Welfare, Coordinator of Jonathan's Child Care Ministries (me- on such a list) and one or two other people stating that the almost 4 year ban on adoptions is not actually legal. (with my busy schedule I honestly do not remember what I have posted in the past nor do I have the time now to read through it so if this is old news just scroll ahead a bit). Here in Salone the adoption process includes going through Social Welfare who does an investigation into the child's situation and then either gives their approval or does n0t- without their approval you cannot go forward with the adoption. Makes sense. So a few years back the then Minister of Social Welfare Gender and Children's Affairs initiated the ban on adoption after a good number of fraudulent adoptions. At this point this should have gone through parilament and to the President and then be ratified in order to be a true ban on adoptions- however this was never done. Still the Chief Justice sent a circular to all judges stating that they should NOT hear adoption cases. At this time because of the adoption cases that were not proper the Bar Association remained quiet on the subject and waited to see what Social Welfare would do- however after this much time they are no longer willing to stay silent.
In order to shorten this a little that is what Mr. Margai was fighting after last Wednesday in his letter. I came to Freetown on Monday morning to go to the airport to meet our visitor, Talitha who will be staying with us for three weeks and Jerry came to Freetown Tuesday afternoon after a test at school. Just after he arrived I was called to Mr. Margai's office. His secretary and junior lawyer told me that after meetings all week the Chief Justice had sent out another circular to all judges stating that they shoulc BEGIN HEARING ADOPTION cases. We were all very excited and celebrated together. We all had a hand in this and even when I told Jerry he got a big smile on his face and did his short high pitched laugh. He was a part of opening the door for all other children. You know how many times God asks for our patience and how many times he rewards us with things much greater than we could have hoped for. This is a big deal. It has been a very long time and a long battle to have an adoption case heard and the next day we were getting out chance free and clear- not having to go around any previous order from the Cheif Justice.
Wednesday morning we met at Mr. Margai's office and he again congratulated us on that victory and we all thanked each other for the part played. It was great to see Jerry speaking to a man in such a position here in Sierra Leone and feeling like they had worked together to accomplish an act that would help many other children. Jerry is proud and was well spoken. These two men so far apart in age but from the same part of the country have something even more to connect them together. Each time we go to Bo Jerry proudly talks to his friends about Mr. Margai- puffs out his chest a little and tips his head back and tells all who will listen (and debate with him) how great this man is. So for Mr. Margai to congratulate and thank Jerry on Tuesday... it meant a great deal to him and I know he will carry that with him for a long time to come.
Shortly after we headed to the court house and met Mommy Benya (Jerry's grandmother), Boi Benya- (Jerry's biological mother) and Joe Benya (Jerry's uncle) already there. Joe told us how they prayed at church on Sunday- they prayed when Mommy and Boi arrived from the village Tuesday, and they prayed before leaving that morning. What an encouragement. They all felt strongly that this would be the day.
We waited in the corridor together until we were called into the Judge's Chambers. It was not a large court room but her office. We were in there with our lawyers- 3 of them, and 2 other lawyers along with Boi, Jerry and I. Mr. Margai presented our case and spoke for about 10-15 minutes or so and then the judge's legal assistant who spoke Mende asked Boi if she understood what was happening and if she agreed with it. She spoke very clearly and said that she has not been caring for jerry since he was 2 1/2 years old and is not able to care for him now. She wants him to have the chance to have a family with Mommy Brenda and Hindalo (Jerry's father's Mende name) and she wants it to be forever. She understands what this adoption means and she wants it to happen. Wow- what a special thing to say. After this the judge just continued to write on her piece of paper. The same exact type of paper that the denial for Jerry's adoption was written on last time. I remained calm and just prayed- this would be different.
We were told it could be a week or two before we received a decision. However the longer she sat there just writing I had a feeling we would be hearing her answer today. With all the doors that God had opened for us to get to this point, with all the hurdles we had jumped and with all the prayers that had gone up and the confident, peaceful feeling he had given so many of us I just had to believe that her decision would be favorable. But still I held my breath and prayed. After at least 15 minutes of just writing and silence (yes 15 sounds short but try waiting for something, watching someone, sitting in silence for a full 15 minutes- it is not short), Justice Showers spoke. She spoke directly to CF Margai and said that "In light of this application and the special circumstances of the juvenile, in light of the mother's condition, in light of... " so many things- now as soon as she started saying 'in light of' and laid out the conditions she did- I knew it had to be a yes but as always I had a slight smile and still held my breath- I mean after 4 years of not getting the answer we desired there was always a chance...
Finally she said the words we so wanted to hear "The application is granted" She then went on to read a few conditions and we could all smile and say thank you. Jerry stood up in front of her to say thanks and even Boi who doesn't understand English must have understood the side squeeze I gave her as the judge was talking as she said thank you as well. It was a quick rush out of the room so after my thanks on the way out that was the end of it all. We met back at Mr. Margai's office and he started preparing the official court order. He asked me to wait in Freetown until the next day to collect it so I quickly got Talitha, Jerry, and Kate ready to head back to Bo so Jerry could finish his school exams and Talitha could start work at the hospital and then I stayed in Freetown yet again.
How excited was I the next morning when I held the signed court order in my hands. It is finished- Jerry Benya Lowe's adoption is FINAL. While he and I were walking on the street I said that to him- "Jerry you are finally a Lowe"- he responded to me, "I have been a Lowe for a long time." He is so right. In their hearts- all of them- Jerry has been a part of the Lowe family for years- it is just that we have a piece of paper that can now start the process of bringing him home to his family.
Sure a trip to the city is nice every now and then- but only every now and then. I remember a time when it would be 3 months without me traveling to Freetown- Now I have been here a good majority of the last month. I spent only Friday-Sunday in Bo over the past two weeks and will still be here in Freetown until at least tomorrow. It is more than just part of the job this time however and it is very worth the noise, constant people, sitting in traffic and the unique smells.
As of my last post you know that our adoption case with Jerry was post poned until this past Wednesday. However what I did not share was that after our last court date our lawyer wrote a letter to the Chief Justice (head judge), the President of Sierra Leone, The president of the Bar Association, Minister of Social Welfare, Coordinator of Jonathan's Child Care Ministries (me- on such a list) and one or two other people stating that the almost 4 year ban on adoptions is not actually legal. (with my busy schedule I honestly do not remember what I have posted in the past nor do I have the time now to read through it so if this is old news just scroll ahead a bit). Here in Salone the adoption process includes going through Social Welfare who does an investigation into the child's situation and then either gives their approval or does n0t- without their approval you cannot go forward with the adoption. Makes sense. So a few years back the then Minister of Social Welfare Gender and Children's Affairs initiated the ban on adoption after a good number of fraudulent adoptions. At this point this should have gone through parilament and to the President and then be ratified in order to be a true ban on adoptions- however this was never done. Still the Chief Justice sent a circular to all judges stating that they should NOT hear adoption cases. At this time because of the adoption cases that were not proper the Bar Association remained quiet on the subject and waited to see what Social Welfare would do- however after this much time they are no longer willing to stay silent.
In order to shorten this a little that is what Mr. Margai was fighting after last Wednesday in his letter. I came to Freetown on Monday morning to go to the airport to meet our visitor, Talitha who will be staying with us for three weeks and Jerry came to Freetown Tuesday afternoon after a test at school. Just after he arrived I was called to Mr. Margai's office. His secretary and junior lawyer told me that after meetings all week the Chief Justice had sent out another circular to all judges stating that they shoulc BEGIN HEARING ADOPTION cases. We were all very excited and celebrated together. We all had a hand in this and even when I told Jerry he got a big smile on his face and did his short high pitched laugh. He was a part of opening the door for all other children. You know how many times God asks for our patience and how many times he rewards us with things much greater than we could have hoped for. This is a big deal. It has been a very long time and a long battle to have an adoption case heard and the next day we were getting out chance free and clear- not having to go around any previous order from the Cheif Justice.
Wednesday morning we met at Mr. Margai's office and he again congratulated us on that victory and we all thanked each other for the part played. It was great to see Jerry speaking to a man in such a position here in Sierra Leone and feeling like they had worked together to accomplish an act that would help many other children. Jerry is proud and was well spoken. These two men so far apart in age but from the same part of the country have something even more to connect them together. Each time we go to Bo Jerry proudly talks to his friends about Mr. Margai- puffs out his chest a little and tips his head back and tells all who will listen (and debate with him) how great this man is. So for Mr. Margai to congratulate and thank Jerry on Tuesday... it meant a great deal to him and I know he will carry that with him for a long time to come.
Shortly after we headed to the court house and met Mommy Benya (Jerry's grandmother), Boi Benya- (Jerry's biological mother) and Joe Benya (Jerry's uncle) already there. Joe told us how they prayed at church on Sunday- they prayed when Mommy and Boi arrived from the village Tuesday, and they prayed before leaving that morning. What an encouragement. They all felt strongly that this would be the day.
We waited in the corridor together until we were called into the Judge's Chambers. It was not a large court room but her office. We were in there with our lawyers- 3 of them, and 2 other lawyers along with Boi, Jerry and I. Mr. Margai presented our case and spoke for about 10-15 minutes or so and then the judge's legal assistant who spoke Mende asked Boi if she understood what was happening and if she agreed with it. She spoke very clearly and said that she has not been caring for jerry since he was 2 1/2 years old and is not able to care for him now. She wants him to have the chance to have a family with Mommy Brenda and Hindalo (Jerry's father's Mende name) and she wants it to be forever. She understands what this adoption means and she wants it to happen. Wow- what a special thing to say. After this the judge just continued to write on her piece of paper. The same exact type of paper that the denial for Jerry's adoption was written on last time. I remained calm and just prayed- this would be different.
We were told it could be a week or two before we received a decision. However the longer she sat there just writing I had a feeling we would be hearing her answer today. With all the doors that God had opened for us to get to this point, with all the hurdles we had jumped and with all the prayers that had gone up and the confident, peaceful feeling he had given so many of us I just had to believe that her decision would be favorable. But still I held my breath and prayed. After at least 15 minutes of just writing and silence (yes 15 sounds short but try waiting for something, watching someone, sitting in silence for a full 15 minutes- it is not short), Justice Showers spoke. She spoke directly to CF Margai and said that "In light of this application and the special circumstances of the juvenile, in light of the mother's condition, in light of... " so many things- now as soon as she started saying 'in light of' and laid out the conditions she did- I knew it had to be a yes but as always I had a slight smile and still held my breath- I mean after 4 years of not getting the answer we desired there was always a chance...
Finally she said the words we so wanted to hear "The application is granted" She then went on to read a few conditions and we could all smile and say thank you. Jerry stood up in front of her to say thanks and even Boi who doesn't understand English must have understood the side squeeze I gave her as the judge was talking as she said thank you as well. It was a quick rush out of the room so after my thanks on the way out that was the end of it all. We met back at Mr. Margai's office and he started preparing the official court order. He asked me to wait in Freetown until the next day to collect it so I quickly got Talitha, Jerry, and Kate ready to head back to Bo so Jerry could finish his school exams and Talitha could start work at the hospital and then I stayed in Freetown yet again.
How excited was I the next morning when I held the signed court order in my hands. It is finished- Jerry Benya Lowe's adoption is FINAL. While he and I were walking on the street I said that to him- "Jerry you are finally a Lowe"- he responded to me, "I have been a Lowe for a long time." He is so right. In their hearts- all of them- Jerry has been a part of the Lowe family for years- it is just that we have a piece of paper that can now start the process of bringing him home to his family.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Have enough patience yet?
Today we walked from the guest house to the court house. We arrived to find a large number of military men guarding all sides of the court house- sidewalks, gates, walk ways- every thing. They were not about to let us in saying court was closed and all cases were postponed. What? Well we tried to tell them we were told just yesterday we have a court date set for today, Brenda is leaving today... finally i just mentioned our lawyers name and we were passed the first guy. I learned my lesson- at the next gate we started with the lawyers name- ushered right through.
We had to wait a little for our lawyer to come but we did meet Jerry's biological family already there waiting for us. Not too long and our lawyer showed up pulled us into a room and had a good talk with all of us and especially complimented Brenda and I on our beautiful African clothes. Around 9:45 we were called into the judges chambers. She heard part of our case and assigned it again for the same time next Wednesday. More patience. It is not a no so we keep moving forward. Our lawyer still seems confident and we keep praying. And learning more patience.
We had to wait a little for our lawyer to come but we did meet Jerry's biological family already there waiting for us. Not too long and our lawyer showed up pulled us into a room and had a good talk with all of us and especially complimented Brenda and I on our beautiful African clothes. Around 9:45 we were called into the judges chambers. She heard part of our case and assigned it again for the same time next Wednesday. More patience. It is not a no so we keep moving forward. Our lawyer still seems confident and we keep praying. And learning more patience.
Friday, February 3, 2012
God is at work
I am not even sure where to begin this story.
My first trip here to Sierra Leone in 2006 I traveled on a team with a father and son named Ron and Dylan Lowe- they were kinda my best buds on the trip. During their stay at the orphanage they fell in love with a boy named Jerry. Jerry's father was killed by the rebels the month before he was born. His uncle carried his pregnant mother on his back to Bo trying to get away from the rebels and Jerry was born in a camp in Bo after they arrived. He was named after the guard there. Their family did eventually travel back to their village of Kpangbia and Jerry took the mother's father's last name and was raised as Jerry Benya. He went to his first few years of school there but with a physically and mentally handicapped mother the burden eventually became to great for the grandparents to handle and Jerry came to stay at JCC a few months before our visit.
When Ron and Dylan returned home they shared much with their family but mostly about Jerry. Not long after the family started supporting Jerry and praying for him. they talked of adoption but didn't want to just make an emotional decision. After a lot of time spent in prayer and years of letters back and forth I had the opportunity to be in Sierra Leone with their son Dylan (he was visiting for the second time) when they made the final decision to adopt Jerry. Dylan and I were in Bonthe- an island far from Bo and difficult to reach, sitting eating a meal with some staff when he got the call. He was so anxious to be the one to tell Jerry that we could barely keep him from swimming back. the next morning we reached Mattru but couldn't get a vehicle to Bo until the next day- that was WAY to long for Dylan so we hired a honda to take him. He was able to be the one to tell Jerry that they were brothers. That was in 2008.
Since that time so many hurdles and struggles have stopped this adoption from going through. It was started and Social Welfare gave their approval BEFORE the moratorium on adoptions went in place. However since we had not gone to court prior it was extremely difficult to move forward with it all. This along with many set backs (lost money, lawyers who took advantage of us, investigations not done properly...) caused the whole thing to just sit for a time. FINALLY in July 2010 we were able to get a court date. Ron and Brenda both traveled to Sierra Leone and it was the first time Brenda met Jerry in person. They had written letters and talked on the phone and seen mnay photos and even video- so they knew each other already but meeting in person- it was something special. My sister Amy was here at the time and she and I had picked them up with the jeep. The four of us drove into the compound and with Ron and Brenda in the back seat jerry came up to the window and placed his hand against the glass matching up with Brenda's hand. That was it. Jerry was already in love with Ron and had been since day one- but now he would come and seek Brenda out. The love between them is a love only from God. It is true and real.
On July 8th we went to court and unfortunately the judge denied the adoption. There is a part of the adoption act that states that the adoptive parents have to live in Sierra Leone for 6 months prior to adopting. Though this has been true for some time many judges feel this is not in the best interest of the child- how can a parent leave their job and come here and then still have what it takes to support the child when they return to the states. The relationship that the Lowes and Jerry have had over the past number of years shows their love and support for Jerry and that it would continue- however this judge just denied the case outright. we were called to the lawyers office to hear the news. Ron and Brenda sat near the lawyer and Jerry and I sat on the couch with Amy on the floor next to Jerry. When the lawyer told us the news Jerry had silent tears running down his face and all of a sudden his shoulders started shaking and he was devastated. Ron and Brenda were also in tears. What a loss. We had a few days before they had to fly home. We all went to River #2 and were able to still laugh but also to talk about how Jerry would always be a part of their family no matter what. They did not need a piece of paper for that. They would continue to fight as well. It was an extremely difficult good bye at the airport.
Only a few short months after that I came home to the states for a time. It was difficult for Jerry and Brenda talked how he would often be in tears on the phone to her. However there were also many times when he was the one encouraging her and lifting her up. Telling her how God was in control and how he would make a way.
This moratorium has staying in place now for 4 years. Though there is great disagreement on whether it is even legal it is still holding up adoption cases. Brenda decided that she still needed to come for a visit and so this January she came to Salone. We still checked with our lawyer and a few others to see if there was a chance we could go to court again- each time we were told the judges were not seeing adoption cases. Even though we had all the documents we needed to go to court- especially Social Welfare approval. Brenda decided it was alright she would spend the time with Jerry and wait until the ban lifted.
We have been told over and over that a child can be adopted internationally through their 16th year. I am not sure why but after Brenda had been here about a week we decided to check on this much more carefully. In the states we were told there was nothing about that only that the I600 had to be filed before they turned 16- however we cannot file that here until after the adoption is completed. We then called the US embassy here and they stated VERY CLEARLY that the adoption has to be completed BEFORE the child turns 16. The visa can be applied for anytime after that but the adoption was clear in the time it needed to be completed. Well Jerry turns 16 on April 2nd of this year. That means we really only have a couple months. This is Brenda's last chance to do this.
Around this same time we were given the number to a very prominent lawyer (I'll give his name after this is all finished as if you know much about Salone you will know him) and we took the risk to head to Freetown. We arrived Thursday and he said he would meet with us Friday morning. He asked if we could have Jerry and Jerry's biological family in his office on Monday- YES. We headed back to Bo- calling the village and arranging it all- even though we thought it was clear Sat night as we were getting ready to leave the next morning we called to find out they had gone back to the village and were confused about the travel. After a bit of panic and some help from God a vehicle was able to get them at 10pm (not easy in a far out village) and get them to Mogbwemo where they were able to meet the vehicle to Freetown at 4am. We all met at the lawyers office and started the paper work.
Tuesday we called Pam our travel agent as Brenda was to fly out Wednesday. She looked for flights and if Brenda flew out the next Sunday it would cost $450 but anything after that would be $3000. WOW we wanted to book for the Sunday but couldn't be sure we would go to court before then. (when we first asked the lawyer he told us if Brenda extended her trip a fortnight that would be enough and that was Friday- well who knows how long a fortnight is. Not wanting to admit our lack of knowledge we just said okay. I thought it was a week- Brenda 4 nights. So we though Sunday would be good. We still looked online to find out that it was 2 weeks- huh learn something new all the time) We asked the lawyer and he thought it would be fine as that would give us 2 weeks from Friday. However when we called Pam back she said she had found a flight for the same cost leaving Wed. the 8th. We told her to book that one.
Back to work with the documents. We put together almost 30 pages for him in one afternoon and he did another 25 or so more of his own. We had to send Jerry back to go to school and we had to stay until Wednesday when we were able to have Brenda sign the papers and they were submitted to the court. We were told we would hear something on Friday or Monday. Well when Monday afternoon reached and we hadn't heard I gave him a call- he said that he hadn't heard and would call us when he did. Tuesday afternoon Brenda and I debated calling but did- when he responded a bit firmly that he had told us he would call and take it that if he didn't call he hadn't heard anything we didn't call again. However as Wednesday and Thursday came and went it became a whole lot more difficult to be patient. Friday we decided to pray and fast. At 2 we were going to meet with whatever staff was around to pray specifically for this (we pray every morning in devotions but this would be a concentrated amount of time). 2 came and the school children were in the barri so Brenda and I started in her room. Outside shortly after we heard the staff wandering around asking about the prayer meeting. We came out and all sat in Shermer's Hut by the school. I have no words to explain this time of prayer. It was so heartfelt and urgent. Songs and prayers called out- all praying at the same time and then going around one by one until everyone had prayed. Bible stories and examples of God's faithfulness shared. It was a special time that will never be forgotten. Just as the last two people in the circle were taking their turns to pray (and there were at least 20 of us) my phone rang. It was the lawyer's secretary. We have a court date (there was a huge chance no judge would hear our case so this is victory #2- after finding a lawyer to take our case). Get this the court date is WEDNESDAY. Brenda doesn't fly out until almost midnight so we will be able to go to court first. However had we booked the flight for Sunday or had this one not become available I am not sure she would have been here Wed.
We still do not know God's will in this situation. Does he want Jerry to stay here or to be able to go join the Lowe family- we do not know. I also know that he would have his reasons for opening so many doors and allowing us to come this far and not have it go through- but we are praying in confidence that the judge will allow the adoption. Both the Lowe family and Jerry desire it so much and the love they have for each other is strong.
Through it all we desire God's will most. We want to be able to sing the song "it is well, it is well, it is well in the name of Jesus, it is well with my soul today" at the end of this and mean it- no matter the outcome.
I am asking all of you to pray along with us. Pray for the judge in making this decision that he or she would have a soft heart to hear what God wants. Pray for the Lowe family as they love Jerry dearly (and have invested so much in this financially and their time and emotions). Pray for Jerry as he has his hopes fully up in this again and wants it so badly. Pray that God would use this as growth in his life no matter what happens and that Jerry will continue to know that he is dearly loved. Pray for me that I know when to push and when to let things happen. Pray I will be able to celebrate or bring comfort when the time is needed.
Thanks for listening and praying. Thanks to God for what he has already done and what he has shown us. Only he could have brought us this far and only he will see us through.
My first trip here to Sierra Leone in 2006 I traveled on a team with a father and son named Ron and Dylan Lowe- they were kinda my best buds on the trip. During their stay at the orphanage they fell in love with a boy named Jerry. Jerry's father was killed by the rebels the month before he was born. His uncle carried his pregnant mother on his back to Bo trying to get away from the rebels and Jerry was born in a camp in Bo after they arrived. He was named after the guard there. Their family did eventually travel back to their village of Kpangbia and Jerry took the mother's father's last name and was raised as Jerry Benya. He went to his first few years of school there but with a physically and mentally handicapped mother the burden eventually became to great for the grandparents to handle and Jerry came to stay at JCC a few months before our visit.
When Ron and Dylan returned home they shared much with their family but mostly about Jerry. Not long after the family started supporting Jerry and praying for him. they talked of adoption but didn't want to just make an emotional decision. After a lot of time spent in prayer and years of letters back and forth I had the opportunity to be in Sierra Leone with their son Dylan (he was visiting for the second time) when they made the final decision to adopt Jerry. Dylan and I were in Bonthe- an island far from Bo and difficult to reach, sitting eating a meal with some staff when he got the call. He was so anxious to be the one to tell Jerry that we could barely keep him from swimming back. the next morning we reached Mattru but couldn't get a vehicle to Bo until the next day- that was WAY to long for Dylan so we hired a honda to take him. He was able to be the one to tell Jerry that they were brothers. That was in 2008.
Since that time so many hurdles and struggles have stopped this adoption from going through. It was started and Social Welfare gave their approval BEFORE the moratorium on adoptions went in place. However since we had not gone to court prior it was extremely difficult to move forward with it all. This along with many set backs (lost money, lawyers who took advantage of us, investigations not done properly...) caused the whole thing to just sit for a time. FINALLY in July 2010 we were able to get a court date. Ron and Brenda both traveled to Sierra Leone and it was the first time Brenda met Jerry in person. They had written letters and talked on the phone and seen mnay photos and even video- so they knew each other already but meeting in person- it was something special. My sister Amy was here at the time and she and I had picked them up with the jeep. The four of us drove into the compound and with Ron and Brenda in the back seat jerry came up to the window and placed his hand against the glass matching up with Brenda's hand. That was it. Jerry was already in love with Ron and had been since day one- but now he would come and seek Brenda out. The love between them is a love only from God. It is true and real.
On July 8th we went to court and unfortunately the judge denied the adoption. There is a part of the adoption act that states that the adoptive parents have to live in Sierra Leone for 6 months prior to adopting. Though this has been true for some time many judges feel this is not in the best interest of the child- how can a parent leave their job and come here and then still have what it takes to support the child when they return to the states. The relationship that the Lowes and Jerry have had over the past number of years shows their love and support for Jerry and that it would continue- however this judge just denied the case outright. we were called to the lawyers office to hear the news. Ron and Brenda sat near the lawyer and Jerry and I sat on the couch with Amy on the floor next to Jerry. When the lawyer told us the news Jerry had silent tears running down his face and all of a sudden his shoulders started shaking and he was devastated. Ron and Brenda were also in tears. What a loss. We had a few days before they had to fly home. We all went to River #2 and were able to still laugh but also to talk about how Jerry would always be a part of their family no matter what. They did not need a piece of paper for that. They would continue to fight as well. It was an extremely difficult good bye at the airport.
Only a few short months after that I came home to the states for a time. It was difficult for Jerry and Brenda talked how he would often be in tears on the phone to her. However there were also many times when he was the one encouraging her and lifting her up. Telling her how God was in control and how he would make a way.
This moratorium has staying in place now for 4 years. Though there is great disagreement on whether it is even legal it is still holding up adoption cases. Brenda decided that she still needed to come for a visit and so this January she came to Salone. We still checked with our lawyer and a few others to see if there was a chance we could go to court again- each time we were told the judges were not seeing adoption cases. Even though we had all the documents we needed to go to court- especially Social Welfare approval. Brenda decided it was alright she would spend the time with Jerry and wait until the ban lifted.
We have been told over and over that a child can be adopted internationally through their 16th year. I am not sure why but after Brenda had been here about a week we decided to check on this much more carefully. In the states we were told there was nothing about that only that the I600 had to be filed before they turned 16- however we cannot file that here until after the adoption is completed. We then called the US embassy here and they stated VERY CLEARLY that the adoption has to be completed BEFORE the child turns 16. The visa can be applied for anytime after that but the adoption was clear in the time it needed to be completed. Well Jerry turns 16 on April 2nd of this year. That means we really only have a couple months. This is Brenda's last chance to do this.
Around this same time we were given the number to a very prominent lawyer (I'll give his name after this is all finished as if you know much about Salone you will know him) and we took the risk to head to Freetown. We arrived Thursday and he said he would meet with us Friday morning. He asked if we could have Jerry and Jerry's biological family in his office on Monday- YES. We headed back to Bo- calling the village and arranging it all- even though we thought it was clear Sat night as we were getting ready to leave the next morning we called to find out they had gone back to the village and were confused about the travel. After a bit of panic and some help from God a vehicle was able to get them at 10pm (not easy in a far out village) and get them to Mogbwemo where they were able to meet the vehicle to Freetown at 4am. We all met at the lawyers office and started the paper work.
Tuesday we called Pam our travel agent as Brenda was to fly out Wednesday. She looked for flights and if Brenda flew out the next Sunday it would cost $450 but anything after that would be $3000. WOW we wanted to book for the Sunday but couldn't be sure we would go to court before then. (when we first asked the lawyer he told us if Brenda extended her trip a fortnight that would be enough and that was Friday- well who knows how long a fortnight is. Not wanting to admit our lack of knowledge we just said okay. I thought it was a week- Brenda 4 nights. So we though Sunday would be good. We still looked online to find out that it was 2 weeks- huh learn something new all the time) We asked the lawyer and he thought it would be fine as that would give us 2 weeks from Friday. However when we called Pam back she said she had found a flight for the same cost leaving Wed. the 8th. We told her to book that one.
Back to work with the documents. We put together almost 30 pages for him in one afternoon and he did another 25 or so more of his own. We had to send Jerry back to go to school and we had to stay until Wednesday when we were able to have Brenda sign the papers and they were submitted to the court. We were told we would hear something on Friday or Monday. Well when Monday afternoon reached and we hadn't heard I gave him a call- he said that he hadn't heard and would call us when he did. Tuesday afternoon Brenda and I debated calling but did- when he responded a bit firmly that he had told us he would call and take it that if he didn't call he hadn't heard anything we didn't call again. However as Wednesday and Thursday came and went it became a whole lot more difficult to be patient. Friday we decided to pray and fast. At 2 we were going to meet with whatever staff was around to pray specifically for this (we pray every morning in devotions but this would be a concentrated amount of time). 2 came and the school children were in the barri so Brenda and I started in her room. Outside shortly after we heard the staff wandering around asking about the prayer meeting. We came out and all sat in Shermer's Hut by the school. I have no words to explain this time of prayer. It was so heartfelt and urgent. Songs and prayers called out- all praying at the same time and then going around one by one until everyone had prayed. Bible stories and examples of God's faithfulness shared. It was a special time that will never be forgotten. Just as the last two people in the circle were taking their turns to pray (and there were at least 20 of us) my phone rang. It was the lawyer's secretary. We have a court date (there was a huge chance no judge would hear our case so this is victory #2- after finding a lawyer to take our case). Get this the court date is WEDNESDAY. Brenda doesn't fly out until almost midnight so we will be able to go to court first. However had we booked the flight for Sunday or had this one not become available I am not sure she would have been here Wed.
We still do not know God's will in this situation. Does he want Jerry to stay here or to be able to go join the Lowe family- we do not know. I also know that he would have his reasons for opening so many doors and allowing us to come this far and not have it go through- but we are praying in confidence that the judge will allow the adoption. Both the Lowe family and Jerry desire it so much and the love they have for each other is strong.
Through it all we desire God's will most. We want to be able to sing the song "it is well, it is well, it is well in the name of Jesus, it is well with my soul today" at the end of this and mean it- no matter the outcome.
I am asking all of you to pray along with us. Pray for the judge in making this decision that he or she would have a soft heart to hear what God wants. Pray for the Lowe family as they love Jerry dearly (and have invested so much in this financially and their time and emotions). Pray for Jerry as he has his hopes fully up in this again and wants it so badly. Pray that God would use this as growth in his life no matter what happens and that Jerry will continue to know that he is dearly loved. Pray for me that I know when to push and when to let things happen. Pray I will be able to celebrate or bring comfort when the time is needed.
Thanks for listening and praying. Thanks to God for what he has already done and what he has shown us. Only he could have brought us this far and only he will see us through.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Wedding Fun
Over New Years weekend I had the honor of being in my dear friends Kondovoh and Monica's wedding. Kondovoh "proposed" to Monica last New Year's Eve while I was in America however I was able to be on the phone for some of it. I say "proposed" because it was a bit more traditional. Here the man will go to the woman's family (along with his family) and will state his intentions towards her. Questions will be asked and then the family will ask the girl if she wants to marry this man- if she agrees then they are engaged. NOW what I have learned is that if a bride price is paid at this time then the two are married- however if it is not then they are engaged. Kondovoh and Monica were engaged at this point.AND NOW THE PLANNING BEGAN!!! This was quite the wedding- I think it was more than any wedding I will have in America or here. It was fun and I loved being part of it however it was also a ton of work. (let me just say here that this is going to be a long post as I try to share with you what SOME weddings are like here- so if you want you can just scroll through the pictures and go or you can stay and get yourself a coffee or diet coke- with ice). Here the family (which includes close friends- and therefore means I am family) all plan the wedding together. We often met with out group of close friends and talked together and all decided together how things were going to be. It was not just the bride and groom conveying their wishes and the rest of us working to get it done. Everyone was able to voice their opinion. AT THE SAME TIME Monica is a strong woman (which is why I enjoy her friendship so much- she makes me look a little less independent and strong willed :)) so she would try to go along with what the others wanted but there were times she pushed her own way through- it is her wedding after all. A few weeks before the wedding she and I went to the tailor shop to check on some of the dresses (for the 30 some girls in the wedding between bridesmaids, flower girls, small bridesmaids, usherettes...). The usherettes were told they could choose their own style for the dresses but when we got there and they were close to finished she told the tailor that she did not love the style and that he was to change it. At this point I thought a little of that show on TLC or whatever network it is.... but at the same time I laughed a little and just tried on my own dress. This was a bit how things went- you can decide and I will have final say. That will probably be me someday as well.
So yeah back to the planning. I even did some shopping in America and the day before leaving my parents house my mom and I were printing and cutting invitations to the wedding party. I do enjoy DOING things though- so if I am going to be a bridesmaid (and not only a bridesmaid but CHIEF BRIDESMAID- this makes me think of Sister Act 2 when Whoopi says- "I am not now nor have I ever been a Las Vegas showgirl- I am a headliner"- how's that diet coke coming- feel like we are sitting together yet) I want to have a job to do, something to keep me busy other than thinking of getting dressed up and walking down the isle and standing in front for the three hour wedding.
The few days before the wedding we were busy but I was also busy with work so heading into it all I was already exhausted. Yes you think I would have time off around the holidays and though I kinda did- I also have almost 100 children and a board meeting and.... So even with all this planning and all this help- we are still in Africa on BMT. This means that we had left out the simple details- who is picking up what, delivering what, how are we getting between here and there- who has the drinks... Yup on top of that I did not realize that we were having two weddings and two parties. Someone needed to explain this to me better.
Finally things are supposed to start Friday night with a quick wedding shower for Monica with the girls (didn't happen until 11:30pm that night) and then the bachelor's eve- which I thought was like the grooms dinner. A wedding rehearsal and food and good time together. Nope. the rehearsal also got moved (to 30 minutes before the actual wedding was to start and none of us were even dressed and had to go back to the house to do that) and the Bachelor's Eve was actually the traditional wedding. Again this was to start at 6 but finally started aroun 8:30pm. We were at the bride's family's house. As many as could fit sit in the living room while MANY others gather outside. The door is closed and when Kondovoh's family comes to the door they play some games about whether to let them in or not and when they finally do we go through all these introductions and gift handing out to the family members- to the father and mother first- then the aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters and all is done one by one and with explanation. Eventually after the purpose of their visit is stated (they are coming to take someone from this family into their own) another little game is played. The brides sisters and aunts say that the grooms family will need to pay transport for Monica to come (she is in one of the bedrooms) after they collect what they deem is a reasonable amount of money they go to get Monica- she comes our with a sheet covering her. When she reaches Kondovoh's family and they remove the sheet it is not her- this is done a number of times and each time there is singing and dancing as the family walks her out. Finally Monica's older brother quietly walked over to the girls and told them to actually bring Monica out. She still came out covered in a sheet that was raised by her soon to be husbands family and cheers were heard all around.
At this time she is seated in a chair looking at both families and another empty chair is placed next to her. Now it is Kondovoh's family's turn. They go outside the house to get him and bring in 3 different men each one at a time who sits next to Monica and she is asked if she knows this man and if this is the man she wants to marry (now all of this is done in Mende so I did not catch everything that happened but this is the gist of it. And by now you are thinking- gist of it- this is getting to be a book and we haven't even gotten to the wedding day yet- well hey- you complained of no blog posts and how far away I am so I am taking my time and sharing as much as I can. :)) Monica says now to each one and when Kondovoh is finally walked in surrounded by his brothers and close friends- he is smiling and so is she. He sits beside her and when she is asked if she knows this man and if he is the one she wants to marry- she smiles large and tips her head a little shyly and says yes. At this point they are prayed for by both families and the pastor and then a native wedding takes place. They say vows and join their hands together with the families and then just themselves. (this part I missed a lot of- but again- the idea is there).
When this is finished the grooms family has one of their children present a gift to the bride and her family (the bride price) this was wrapped up and after it was presented the bride and her mother went into a room and opened it- some household things were in there, an envelope and some other things- I did not see it really. Afterwards she comes back out and the mother gave Kondovoh and hug and the partying began. In the midst of this we had the wedding shower for Monica and when we finally left the party, the groomsmen all went to one house and the bridesmaids to another. The next morning came bright and early and at 6am we were up- only we were also still sewing things onto the bridesmaids dresses. We tried our best to finish it all (and were so thankful Kate was there to help with all of this) when we were called to the church for rehearsal. Now the wedding was to start in about an hour- we were 10 minutes from the house that had our clothes and make-up and shoes and things and we hadn't even started the reherseal. I wanted this to happen badly as I had no idea what to expect. Well the pastor went over a few things with K&M and then we went back to get dressed. By the time we left it was obvious that the wedding would be late- however we were thinking 30 minutes to an hour. When TWO HOURS after the wedding was to start we the bridesmaids and the bride had not shown up at the church they all began to worry. Here is is custom that the bride come late and the groom stand in front of the church waiting, wondering if she will come. However this was LONG. The pastors started to announce in the church that whoever knew Monica should call her to see if she was coming. One of the pastors called me- I stated that we were all ready and just waiting for Monica- but really the time had flown by and we didn't realize it was that late. Anyway the pastors said if she was not there by 2:30 they would call the wedding off. WE MADE IT!
Here are the six of us close friends- Sorba and Belinda, Kondovoh and Monica, and Me and JK- minus the other 3 in our group.Now do you still want to hear about the wedding or is that enough for this coffee time? If you want you can take a break and come back later- however we all know if I take a break now I am not coming back later so let me finish. This is for my grandma who loves detail (and really I am leaving a ton out).
So we arrive at the church and all get to the back of the isle. The little girls (two groups- one dressed more western and one more traditional) and the ring bearers (three or four of them) head down first. Then comes the bride and her brother (often here it is the brother that walks the bride down the isle) dancing their way down the isle. We bridesmaids follow dancing behind. There are two chairs at the front of the church and when she reaches she meets Kondovoh and they both sit in the chairs. Eventually the pastor asks who gives the bride away and her father came around then to say that he did. Our job as bridesmaids is to take turns standing near them and fanning them- helping Monica with her dress, wiping the sweat from her.... to be there for her. The wedding has vows (like three sets I think) exchanging of rings, prayers, MANY DIFFERENT singing groups (Konodvoh's mom sang- our group of guy friends sang and Kondovoh joined them towards the end with his own part for Monica- different gospel groups young and old....) and during this time we were in a back room signing the marriage certificate- now when I say we I mean EVERYONE IN BO. They had to have at least 75 people sign it and I am not exaggerating here. Of course there was also a sermon and more prayers and other things and the wedding went far longer than was expected.
We finally paired up and walked down the isle together in front of the bride and groom who were last to come out of the church. We were whisked into vehicles for a little parade around town. We drove around to give the families time to get to their houses and then went first to Monica's and then to Kondovoh's family where they were offered a drink of water out of the same glass together. After drinking and receiving a word from the family we moved on. We went to take some pictures as the bridal party and FINALLY made it to a reception at the town hall. Here we ate, heard speeches by at least 6-8 different people- listened to a few more songs- most importantly a surprise song from Kondovoh to Monica and cut the cake and presented gifts. Here is where my CHIEF Bridesmaid position came in. After Kondovoh and Monica cut the cake then the chief bridesmaid and best man cut the cake- I didn't mess up thankfully. However I was disappointed that after we cut the cake we did not get it eat any of it like the bride and groom did. How long I have been in Sierra Leone and not had cake and there it was and all I did was put a knife through it.
Finally we were allowed to go home after collecting all the gifts and things. The guys however still had work to do late into the night as Sunday was the real wedding party (and time to wear the second dress). Oh I forgot to tell you that I guess here the bride is not to wear white after dark- so Monica changed into a pink dress like the girls for the reception- here we both are.
Now this night was New Year's Eve. At this point we should go home to change and head to the church for the celebration- I couldn't do it. I am getting old and new that again the next night was another LATE night and party- so by 11:30 I was home in bed. I did have to get back up at 1:30 to deal with the vehicle that was coming back but it was not for long. Sunday morning Monica and I ran around to do some last minute things and then we met at the Guest House with the bridesmaids and groomsmen to go to church together. Again they were prayed for. That afternoon we had a party at another friends house (after going for lunch at K&M's after church) so we didn't reach home until 6 and were to meet again dressed and ready to go at 7:30. I took a short nap and got ready to go. Kate and I showed up at the Guest House to find absolutely no one there (and actually we were to be there before 7 but I have learned- not enough- to not be on time and thought 7:30 would be good) Well, there was trouble with the guys party clothes as well as Monica's and at the same time Monica was a bit upset and said she was not going to the party. Well Kate and I left and ran into Belinda on the way- we collected her and at that point I thought- you both are married now- you work it out. We headed into town and got something to eat and drink and sat and talked together as who knows what time it would be when we finally ate. The party was to start at 8pm and we finally met and arrived there at 10:30 and walked into the party just before 11. AND IT WAS FREEZING!!! I know I know we are in Africa. However it was barely 60 degrees and we were wearing strapless knee length dresses and are used to temperatures in the 90s so it was cold. That is where the dancing comes in as a necessity to stay warm and not just to have fun. We ate and drank and danced and listened to speeches and songs and jokes.... It was a fun night but didn't last as long as it would have had it been warmer. However 2:30 am was late enough for me after such a long weekend.
I know that not all weddings are like this here in Sierra Leone- but parts of them are. I truly was honored to share in this day with them and to be included so much. These people really are my family here and Kondovoh and Monica are more than dear to my heart. I am so thankful that I could help in their big day. Right now however I am more thankful that tonight is just game night with them all and not another wedding.
I know that not all weddings are like this here in Sierra Leone- but parts of them are. I truly was honored to share in this day with them and to be included so much. These people really are my family here and Kondovoh and Monica are more than dear to my heart. I am so thankful that I could help in their big day. Right now however I am more thankful that tonight is just game night with them all and not another wedding. Thanks for hanging with me through this story- with it being so long and my time running out I am not going to edit any of it- it is just a conversation between me and you and FINALLY this book has come to a finish.
THE END
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Fresh Update on the Playground
I guess not everything can be fixed with a fresh coat of paint and some new braces on the playground...
But most things can be!
We had a lot of fun brightening up the place.
All the kids (even the big ones) can be found spending more and more time on this fine structure.
Makes for some great photos as well.
But most things can be!
We had a lot of fun brightening up the place.
All the kids (even the big ones) can be found spending more and more time on this fine structure.
Makes for some great photos as well. Thanks to the team who helped us in this (as well as getting us new playground equiptment that will soon be installed around this structure).
Christmas at JCC
White Christmas lights covering the tree, gifts overflowing out from underneath it, stockings hanging along the hallway, the smell of English Toffee coming from the kitchen, old Christmas carols that we can hardly sing along too playing in the corner, snow covering the ground and trees outside the door and laugher and loud voices filling the room- that was not the Christmas we had this year (though I hear snow was not a part of most of yours either).
I admit that no matter how wonderful or difficult a holiday is away from home I always miss my family and the traditions we are used to. This year seemed to be a bit harder for all three of us pumois here at JCC in missing home, however we managed to celebrate a wonderful time with the children and our family here and in the end it helped us to refocus our hearts onto what is truly important at this time of year.
Thanks to some financial gifts from a friend Hope and from my first grade teacher we were able to have a special Christmas Eve with all the kids- from the orphanage, the boys ministry house, the girls ministry house and even some of the reunited children. The mom's had been given a couple days off so the 5 aunties were on hand to not only enjoy the celebration but to really give us the chance to enjoy it fully. These dedicated ladies got up at 3am to start frying(and that is after they along with the big girls peeled and cut all the potatoes the night before) the chicken and chips (french fries). We were able to get enough chicken so everyone had a LARGE piece and even seconds for almost all who wanted them along with the world's largest bucket of chips- it was huge- you could fit at least 10 gallons of water inside- probably even 15 and it was FULL to over flowing with french fries. The aunties told me the amount to buy in leones- but they didn't realize what a good deal I would find and I didn't have any clue how much to cook for one hundred people- so in our not being together in the market we ended up having quite a laugh the next morning as it was the never ending frying of chips.
After all the cooking was finished the children and staff around were loaded into the bus (not even an air pocket was left) 7 of us loaded into the jeep to follow and we were off to Bandejuma. This is the same river beach area we went to two years ago for Christmas along with Amy and Meghan and we had just as much fun this time. Well after our little/BIG problem at the fuel station which deserves another post of it's own. We had the chicken with us in the jeep and arrive almost 2 hours after the bus so they had to wait for their lunch but hey a picnic lunch at the beach on Christmas Eve had everyone in great moods that would take a lot more than that to bring down.
After lunch some of us headed quickly into the water and you can bet that I was a part of that group. Another group played a game of football that had even the male staff laughing and rolling on the ground getting into. Yet more children climbed trees, sang and danced. We laughed and smiled the day away.
The children LOVE the water- Katie, Elle and I would take turns bringing them out into the deeper water and the smiles and laughter (and tight clinging) was the highlight of my day by far. There was such a joy in my heart watching them have the time of their lives together. Around 5 we started heading home and met the moms waiting for us. It was time to also start getting ready for Christmas Day.
I admit that no matter how wonderful or difficult a holiday is away from home I always miss my family and the traditions we are used to. This year seemed to be a bit harder for all three of us pumois here at JCC in missing home, however we managed to celebrate a wonderful time with the children and our family here and in the end it helped us to refocus our hearts onto what is truly important at this time of year.
Thanks to some financial gifts from a friend Hope and from my first grade teacher we were able to have a special Christmas Eve with all the kids- from the orphanage, the boys ministry house, the girls ministry house and even some of the reunited children. The mom's had been given a couple days off so the 5 aunties were on hand to not only enjoy the celebration but to really give us the chance to enjoy it fully. These dedicated ladies got up at 3am to start frying(and that is after they along with the big girls peeled and cut all the potatoes the night before) the chicken and chips (french fries). We were able to get enough chicken so everyone had a LARGE piece and even seconds for almost all who wanted them along with the world's largest bucket of chips- it was huge- you could fit at least 10 gallons of water inside- probably even 15 and it was FULL to over flowing with french fries. The aunties told me the amount to buy in leones- but they didn't realize what a good deal I would find and I didn't have any clue how much to cook for one hundred people- so in our not being together in the market we ended up having quite a laugh the next morning as it was the never ending frying of chips.
After all the cooking was finished the children and staff around were loaded into the bus (not even an air pocket was left) 7 of us loaded into the jeep to follow and we were off to Bandejuma. This is the same river beach area we went to two years ago for Christmas along with Amy and Meghan and we had just as much fun this time. Well after our little/BIG problem at the fuel station which deserves another post of it's own. We had the chicken with us in the jeep and arrive almost 2 hours after the bus so they had to wait for their lunch but hey a picnic lunch at the beach on Christmas Eve had everyone in great moods that would take a lot more than that to bring down.
After lunch some of us headed quickly into the water and you can bet that I was a part of that group. Another group played a game of football that had even the male staff laughing and rolling on the ground getting into. Yet more children climbed trees, sang and danced. We laughed and smiled the day away.
The children LOVE the water- Katie, Elle and I would take turns bringing them out into the deeper water and the smiles and laughter (and tight clinging) was the highlight of my day by far. There was such a joy in my heart watching them have the time of their lives together. Around 5 we started heading home and met the moms waiting for us. It was time to also start getting ready for Christmas Day.
Again we were able to have large pieces of chicken with our meal of jollof rice- a favorite sauce of many that is served mostly on special occasions. Usually early in the morning the children get up and run around the compound singing songs of Jesus' birth at the top of their lungs- however I think they were all a bit worn out from the day before as this didn't happen as early or as loudly. All did their chores and cooked so that we could head of to our various churches. After coming back to the compound we got a bunch of benches organized into a large circle in the dining hall and brought our lunch out to eat together. I was able to read the Christmas Story to all as they ate and ask a lot of fun questions and hear a lot of good answers. It meant a lot to share that time together.
After we finished the story we had a small gift for each child. Now at my house as well as at Kate's we go around one by one to open our gifts- we wanted to do this with the children her as welle. First of all for some of them this was the first time that they had unwrapped a gift- they receive them often in a bag or just as they are but not wrapped. (and let me tell you wrapping gifts for 75 children- keeping them straight and writing the correct name on the outside is not easy and to be honest we made a few mistakes) We wanted them each to know they are valued and special. They could each have thier moment to open their gift as well as share in the joy of their brothers and sisters as they opened their own. We would cheer and clap after each one. Sallay Dumbaya was the last to open her gift and she had waited so patiently that I wanted to give her an extra gift. They might not have been much but the kids loved them and I couldn't help smiling at how fun it was to be a part of giving them that moment.
After we finished the story we had a small gift for each child. Now at my house as well as at Kate's we go around one by one to open our gifts- we wanted to do this with the children her as welle. First of all for some of them this was the first time that they had unwrapped a gift- they receive them often in a bag or just as they are but not wrapped. (and let me tell you wrapping gifts for 75 children- keeping them straight and writing the correct name on the outside is not easy and to be honest we made a few mistakes) We wanted them each to know they are valued and special. They could each have thier moment to open their gift as well as share in the joy of their brothers and sisters as they opened their own. We would cheer and clap after each one. Sallay Dumbaya was the last to open her gift and she had waited so patiently that I wanted to give her an extra gift. They might not have been much but the kids loved them and I couldn't help smiling at how fun it was to be a part of giving them that moment.That afternoon we were back to the kitchen making popcorn and punch (complete with sprite and ice) and spent the evening watching film in the hut. I was able to sneak away to go play games with my close friends and have some good time with them as they really are my family here. The special part of it was that I brought a new game from my mom with me (new to us) called Ticket to Ride- my family at home also got this game for Christmas and at that moment that evening/afternoon for them- we were all playing the game at the same time. I knew this as we were playing and it was such a simple thing that warmed my heart to be connected between my two families doing something we all love .
Kate and I had done some decorating in the hut- we had a small tree without lights or snow. We had stockings that we ended up not filling and we had popcorn strung around the ceiling that every African who entered the room commented on how crazy these pumois were. However even with the differences in the way we spent our Christmas we also had a reminder of the joy of Jesus' birth and just how special time together celebrating that special day is.
I pray you had a good Christmas as well- even if there were moments of sadness mixed in just like ours.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Getaway
You wouldn't know it from my blog but life has been a bit crazy for the past 6 months or so. I am learning a great deal however much of it at the time I would rather not learn that lesson or that character trait but as we know it is good growth and much to share with my children when the time is right. It has also given me the opportunity (not sure I would call it that in the moment) to rely on those who love me here and to not always be the strong one or the confident one or even the one who just doesn't whine- I am weak and need assurance and as my roommate (more in a future post) Kate will tell you- I definately vent and whine more than I should.
So I will give as much detail in all of this as I can later- but this is to explain the reason that I have runaway- all the way to the center of Bo Town to a Guest House for a little break. I am having a bit of trouble sleeping at night and am always on the go and having people coming to the hut- not a bad thing (well the lack of sleep is) but I just find myself needing some down time. Especially since we just had a guest leave another is coming Sunday and one more yet again in the end of Feb or early March. I saw my opportunity to escape and took it.
So here I am at Madame Yokie's in a room complete with electricity through the night, A/C (and a blanket which I need with the air conditioning), a refridgerator (which I have stocked with coke, juice, and pineapple thanks to Kate) and the best of all- a HOT SHOWER- I have taken three already.
I wanted to take some of this time to get back on the blog- I sat for 3 1/2 hours this afternoon trying to upload one photo- not going so well but I do commit to getting a couple posts out there with whatever I have- photos or not. So let me start with this small post and get onto attempting photos one more time for the next one.
So I will give as much detail in all of this as I can later- but this is to explain the reason that I have runaway- all the way to the center of Bo Town to a Guest House for a little break. I am having a bit of trouble sleeping at night and am always on the go and having people coming to the hut- not a bad thing (well the lack of sleep is) but I just find myself needing some down time. Especially since we just had a guest leave another is coming Sunday and one more yet again in the end of Feb or early March. I saw my opportunity to escape and took it.
So here I am at Madame Yokie's in a room complete with electricity through the night, A/C (and a blanket which I need with the air conditioning), a refridgerator (which I have stocked with coke, juice, and pineapple thanks to Kate) and the best of all- a HOT SHOWER- I have taken three already.
I wanted to take some of this time to get back on the blog- I sat for 3 1/2 hours this afternoon trying to upload one photo- not going so well but I do commit to getting a couple posts out there with whatever I have- photos or not. So let me start with this small post and get onto attempting photos one more time for the next one.
Two New Pumois?
Yes I have to take a second glance when looking at photos with this fine hairstyle I was given for a wedding I was in. All here loved it. So even though I look a little different the one on the left is me. :)
The one on the right is my dear new/old roommate Kate. She also has a new hairstyle for the wedding so I am going to have a get a post with a photo of our real looks soon. Kate was very brave and came to Sierra Leone for the first time this past August. She was going to be staying with us for a year but will have to leave early this April- it is going to come way too soon. Kate is a teacher and has been a great help in our JCC primary school. Of course our kids here LOVE her and she has been a source of encouragement and laughter for me. I admit that it takes time to get used to having a roommate no matter where you are and that stands true for here as well- but we have gotten quite used to each other and have had more laughs than I could ever count. (many vehicle breakdowns, broken toilets, falling off the ferry benches, cooking experiments, odd smells during game nights with friends...) During these past months of uncertainty and struggles having Kate here has been more than a blessing to me. God knows what we need even when we are not too sure about it all. I admit to wondering what it would be like to have someone else living in the hut with me, sharing not only my space but my kids and friends outside and... and yes there have been a few moments of adjustment and learning boundaries, however I could not be more thankful for Kate or more sad to think about her leaving me in just a few short months.
Thanks for taking the chance- for being brave enough to get on the plane not knowing who would be there to meet you on the other side- and for loving these people who mean so much to me and now also to you Kate. Now let's head to town and get another cold coke.
The one on the right is my dear new/old roommate Kate. She also has a new hairstyle for the wedding so I am going to have a get a post with a photo of our real looks soon. Kate was very brave and came to Sierra Leone for the first time this past August. She was going to be staying with us for a year but will have to leave early this April- it is going to come way too soon. Kate is a teacher and has been a great help in our JCC primary school. Of course our kids here LOVE her and she has been a source of encouragement and laughter for me. I admit that it takes time to get used to having a roommate no matter where you are and that stands true for here as well- but we have gotten quite used to each other and have had more laughs than I could ever count. (many vehicle breakdowns, broken toilets, falling off the ferry benches, cooking experiments, odd smells during game nights with friends...) During these past months of uncertainty and struggles having Kate here has been more than a blessing to me. God knows what we need even when we are not too sure about it all. I admit to wondering what it would be like to have someone else living in the hut with me, sharing not only my space but my kids and friends outside and... and yes there have been a few moments of adjustment and learning boundaries, however I could not be more thankful for Kate or more sad to think about her leaving me in just a few short months.Thanks for taking the chance- for being brave enough to get on the plane not knowing who would be there to meet you on the other side- and for loving these people who mean so much to me and now also to you Kate. Now let's head to town and get another cold coke.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)