Friday, September 7, 2007

New Post Part 2 (could be a long one)

The past month has not been easy for my family and I. I have been meaning to let you all know what is going on but for some reason it has been a lot harder than I thought to sit down and write it out, but here goes.

A few weeks ago my Grandpa Wally was diagnosed with cancer of the Bile Ducts- sounds crazy I know. It is a rare type of cancer and a hard one to treat. On August 21st he went in for a risky surgery with a 50% chance of making it through, which he did. However they were not able to get the cancer. His recovery from the surgery was not as quick as we expected. After 11 days in the hospital we were able to bring him home. He had a couple good days before the 2nd stint they had put in plugged up again. Wednesday, Gramps, Grandma, mom, dad and I headed back to Duluth to meet with the oncologist as well as to admit gramps in order to get another new stint. It was successful and he is now the proud owner of a permanent metal stint and on his way home with my sister Amy and Grandma right now.

The meeting with the oncologist went well. She is a great doctor who was very straight forward with us. Dr. Ochs said that though the chance of a cure is not zero it is pretty close to it, however since gramps is otherwise very healthy they would like to treat it rather aggressively. Chemo seven days a week and radiation five days a week for six weeks. He could be the one who receives a miracle from God, we know our God is a powerful God and if that is his will...
If he is not cured, the treatment could give him 10-12 months. Without treatment... 3-6 months. As a family we have a lot of decisions to make. As soon as the doctor left the room, Grandpa began praying- how like him. We need God's wisdom in the days ahead. Yes this is a lot of detail that I was not sure I should share as this does affect my whole family and not me alone, however to really let you know where I am and how to pray for me I feel as though it is what I need to do.

I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to have the relationship I do with my Grandpa. It wasn't until I went off to college that I realized how truly special it is. I really do believe that I have the best Grandpa in the world. I have grown up in the same town/area with both sets of grandparents being a daily part of my life. Often, including now, we have many parties with our friends out at their house. All through college I would bring groups of 20-somethings to stay not just at my grandparents, but with my grandparents for the weekend. That isn't the end of it, we not only spend a lot of time together, but we have a very close and deep relationship which has truly shaped who I am today. How lucky am I that my Grandparents have become surrogate grandparents to so many of my friends from both high school and college. Last summer a good friend of mine asked my grandpa to be the one to marry her and her husband. It was so funny and yet normal at the same time to look over from the wedding party table and see my grandma and grandpa at the table with my friends from college laughing away, fitting right in.

There are four of us in our family that seem to share one mind. My grandpa, mom, sister Amy and I all think alike (and therefore are not allowed to be on the same team very often when we play games). As I sit and think about my friendship with gramps I think it would make sense that that is why I feel so close to him, we have kindred spirits. However I also know that though we do have this, my grandpa has developed a close relationship with each of us grand kids. We all feel that we have this special connection to him and I find that to be something I would like to strive for in the relationships I have in my life. He has touched each of us so profoundly that I know we will never walk through a day in life without him.

Growing up I was so proud to say that my grandparents are missionaries. Even though I am headed to Sierra Leone- to think of myself as a missionary does not really seem to fit. Watching and listening to my Gramps though, I have learned that it is not about that label at all; it is about building relationships with people and loving them. Friendships- I can handle that. God built me for them. We talked often when I first came back last summer, sharing and relating to each others stories. The connection I feel with him has become even deeper because of this next journey God has placed in my life. I know that I will be hearing the things Gramps has told me and shown me the whole time I am there (and here). Things we may not have even talked about, but that I have learned through just observing. I have admired my Grandpa for a very long time and I cannot tell you how honored I am to be a part of his legacy.

I am not sure why but for the last 9 months I have been praying for my grandpa. God laid it on my heart to be praying specifically about my grandpa dying while I was over in Salone. At the time he was not sick at all- active as ever, even going down the water slide with us in July. Obviously now I can see why, but at the time... I believe because of this I have been able to have some peace throughout all of this. Not peace as in everything is going to be great, but a peace that comes only from the Father, knowing that God will bring us through and no matter what does happen we will be alright; sad and hurting but clinging to the hope God has given us. Grandpa wins either way and because Jesus has been working on my heart I find myself walking around being thankful for the 26 years I have had with him instead of angry for what I could miss out on. Yes I want him to be here to marry me and my future husband and to teach my kids how to water-ski just like he did each of us. I want him to walk through this trip to Sierra Leone with me and I want many more weekends at the lake with him and Grandma. God may give us that, but if he doesn't I know I can smile (and cry at the same time) knowing that he is home with His loving Savior; Laughing with his dad, mom, sister, grand kids, and many, many friends.

I share all this with you and ask for you to pray for wisdom for me. I truly want to be at Jonathan House and in some ways even ache to be back with the kids. However I love my grandpa dearly and am not sure I can either be away when he does go home or miss 6 months of the time he does have here. I am at a loss and feel completely torn either way.

I am so grateful for each of you and the great amount of support you have shown me. It is beyond what I could have expected. (Even just making it to the end of this long letter)
Thank you! Thank you!

God has also given us some great times laughing and joking together in the past few weeks- for those of you who know my family you know just how loud we can be. I know that it is only because of our faith that the nurses found us crammed into recovery, all laughing just hours after the surgery knowing the cancer was terminal. The night before 28 of us all went to dinner together and I just wanted to share a picture with you to end with a smile. We do still have fun together and God is still brightening our days through our tears. Here I am with my siblings.




7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tho you did not want to wait to go - I'm thankful that you've been home during this time with Grampa!! God timed this I'm sure!
I love you, Mom

Anonymous said...

My dearest Christie,
I can see that your heart is torn between your gramps here and the dear children of Africa... I would love to have you come and help with our FW FRiends club on Wednesday nights at church and share your joy of Jesus!! There are children here waiting for your love and open arms too!! in Jesus, Jeani

Wallestads said...

Hi, Christie.

We first heard about your grandpa's illness during church a couple of weeks ago. Pastor Phil used him as an example of Christian encouragement. Your grandpa is an amazing man. Know that all of us in Willmar are praying for him and the rest of your family. You're exactly right. Our God is an amazing God, and He alone knows the future. We will pray for a complete healing, but know that He will stand by you in whatever comes.

Love in Christ,
Melissa and Josh

April said...

Hi Christie! I really enjoyed your post. Thanks. I think of you soooo often... and want you to know that I will continue to pray for ALL of you.
I'll call you this week.
Love you!~

Anonymous said...

Christie,

I don't think my comments posted, so I'll write them again. I am in tears as I read about your relationship with your grandpa and your love for serving Jesus. It was 15 years ago that I adopted you as my prayer partner in Cook, and I still pray for you. Now I see the harvest of the Spirit's fruit in your life, and I am so blessed by His faithfulness to finish His work in you. I wish I could see you before you leave. Keep loving Him, and letting His love flow through you to others. I will be anxious to hear how God uses you to bring His grace to others. Keep me informed.

With Love,

pastor John van Gorkom

Erin said...

Christie, thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Love to you, Erin

Anonymous said...

Christie~

Though I have lost touch with a lot of people after I left Cook, I try to catch up as much as I can through the Cookmn website...which is how I heard about your grandpa. He, along with the rest of your family, are in my prayers. I myself have many memories of time spent with him and he always made me feel like I was one of his grandkids when I was there. Let him know that I (and the rest of my family) are thinking of him and pray that whatever decision is made, is the right one for him and the rest of your family.

Love,
Tracey Dunn and the Woods family